Baby Blakely

Wordless Wednesday: Bathtime

2012-01-11T21:21:00.003-06:00

I can't believe how quickly Jack is changing-- he's two months old today!

And smiling all of the time... the dimples *kill* me...

Love him so much!!

Wordless Wednesday: Today

2012-01-04T17:38:00.002-06:00

Today, Liam went to school dressed like a Newsie.

Today, Jack practiced being adorable.

Today, I am thankful for my boys.

How we're doing...

2012-01-02T23:57:00.000-06:00

I've had a few requests that I take some time and write about how we're doing & this post is long overdue!! I’ve been wanting to talk about how life has changed, going from a family of three to afamily of four, but just as we were hitting our stride the holidays were upon us andit threw our routine completely out of whack—running here and there, shopping,decorating, holiday parties, visiting with family. Whew. I’m tired justthinking about it.

The short answer? We’re doing really well.

I think that I really had tried to prepare myself for theworst: for Liam to be horriblyjealous, for Jack to have colic & cry constantly, for Rob and I to feel 100% overwhelmed 100% of the time. I rememberlying in bed a few weeks before Jack was born, drinking in the silence,thinking, “My house won’t be this quiet for a very long time.” Liam has a verypredictable bedtime and routine & even on the toughest of days, he’s rarelyup past 8pm…but it took us quite a while to get there. (He slept through thenight early, but his bedtime varied greatly in those first few months.) I wasexcited to meet my baby, yet sad that this (mostly) quiet little life we’dfallen into was about to be turned upside down.

As it turns out, Liam is not jealous, perhaps the biggestblessing of having 2u2. He acted up a little for the first week or so that wewere home, but I don’t think that it really had anything to do with Jack—more,that his routine was off, he was sick, and that he wasn’t getting enough rest.My aunt watched him while I was in labor, my parents kept him the first night Iwas in the hospital and between being shuffled from here to there, he missedquite a few naps. Then, when I came home from the hospital, our attention wasobviously a bit divided as we settled in. He was frustrated, could sense achange and couldn’t communicate that with us, so it resulted in some shriekingand hitting for a few days. It quickly passed (especially the hitting) once hesaw that, while it may take us a minute longer to take care of whatever hewants or needs, we are still here for him, just as we were before and alwayswill be.

Jack does not have colic. THANK GOD. He does have reflux.Because of our experience with Liam, we knew the symptoms and called hispediatrician when he was two weeks old. He’s on Zantac (3x/day) and it’sdefinitely helping. He’s not a crier. He’s had a few tough days where he wasespecially fussy (& we were tired and patience was thin) but overall he’sincredibly content. He sleeps A LOT which makes it easy to take him wherever weneed to go. In fact, he's sleeping in 5-7 hour stretches at night fairly regularly!

Most days, we’re not overwhelmed. Our plan has been todivide and conquer—one kid each. If I have errands that need to be run, I takeJack and go do them. Rob stays home and plays with Liam and it’s relativelyeasy since we’re both doing things one on one. I have definitely felt like we’vebeen good partners parenting two kids at once—probably out of necessity—thereare two of us and two kids and it’s really not an option to have one person doall of the work. We each grab a kid & take care of that kid’s needs untilwe swap for a while. When we’re grabbing kids, I do tend to be responsible forJack more often than not, but it’s simply because I’m breastfeeding. Plus,Liam’s in a total Daddy phase right now and always wants Rob, so it works out.But, of course, we both cherish our time with each of them.

Speaking of breastfeeding, we’re chugging along. I didn’tput the pressure on myself this time around to exclusively breastfeed Jack andit’s made things so much easier. I respect ladies who can do it, but I nearlydrove myself to a nervous breakdown while nursing Liam. I constantly worriedthat he wasn’t getting enough, that my freezer stash wasn’t big enough, that Ineeded to get home to feed him so that I wouldn’t have to give him a preciousbottle of pumped milk. It was exhausting & it made me very unhappy. So thistime, I said that I would supplement from the beginning— Jack gets about 2bottles a day and I nurse about 6 times a day. No, I’m not pumping every timehe gets a bottle of formula. Yes, I know that in the long run it will lower mysupply, but in the long run, I won’t be breastfeeding anymore. I said that mygoal was to make it a month. I’ve made it almost two months so far. I feel likethings are going just fine & I’m not unhappy with my experience this timearound, but…

I want to go back on my anti-depressants and my anti-anxietymeds—both of which, I haven’t taken since we started trying to get pregnantwith Liam. I’m feeling ok, but not at my best. I talked to my ob/gyn at my 6week postpartum checkup and he was very supportive and encouraged me to go onthem when I felt like I needed to. Wellbutrin is ok (if necessary) to takewhile breastfeeding, but Ativan is not. Wellbutrin is fantastic for mydepression, but it makes my anxiety worse, so I won’t take it until it’s safeto take both… and that means quitting breastfeeding. (I’ve tried other anxietymeds that are safe, but they didn’t work for me.) My doc suggested that westick with what works and reminded me that breastfeeding my baby isn’t the bestthing that I can do for him to help him thrive—keeping his mother happy andhealthy is. (I love that man.) I'll stick with it for now, but will probably wean him in the next month or two.

Speaking of my 6 week checkup, everything was great. Cervixand uterus are back to normal, episiotomy healed and I got the green light toreturn to all activities. Since we’re not aiming for 3u3 & I have no ideahow (in)fertile I am at this point, I got the Depo Provera shot. Despite somescary reports of weight gain (and bone density issues with prolonged use) Ifelt like it was the right choice for me for now. I’m not interested in theIUD, I don’t trust myself to take the pill at the same time every day & Ididn’t use my diaphragm once after Liam was born. If I gain weight because ofit, I won’t go back in March for the next shot, I’ll choose something else.(After I’m done breastfeeding, I’ll consider Nuvaring again if I don’t like theshot. That’s what I used before.)

Speaking of weight, I’m thrilled to report that I’ve lost alittle over 20lbs since Jack’s birth—and since I didn’t gain anything whilepregnant with him (or Liam), this puts me at my lowest weight I’ve been at inover 3 years. I’ve got a ways to go, though. My goal is to lose another 20lbsby May, when my brother gets married. I plan on trying to go back to the gym atleast a few times a week while Liam’s at Mother’s Day Out—they have a nursery& I feel comfortable with Jack being there for an hour or so. Luckily,Wellbutrin tends to make me lose weight, too— the last time I went on it afterbeing off of it for a period of time, 20lbs melted off of me in a month. If Ican just lay off the Chocolate and Peanut Butter covered Banana Chips and makesome healthy eating choices, I know I can do it. (This isn’t my final goalweight, just my first goal.)

What else?

We had our first night, just the two of us, last night.Liam’s an old pro staying with his Marmi & Poppy, but this was Jack’s first overnight. I missed my boys likecrazy (called about 4 times), but the break was lovely, especially as Rob headsback to work tomorrow from a gloriously long paternity leave. We hung out athome (him playing video games, me perusing Pinterest), then headed to a movie(Young Adults), before wandering around Whole Foods buying yummy food (that wedon’t really need and really probably can’t afford). We went to bed when wewere tired and woke up this morning when we were rested. I spent the day doinglaundry & cleaning my closet. I took a leisurely shower and got dressed.And dried my hair! And curled it! And put on makeup! before we met my parentsalong with my aunt and two cousins for dinner. We are so lucky to have a breaknow and then to recharge our batteries, both individually and as a couple. Iknow it can be exhausting for my parents (it is for us!), but we are SO grateful.

So, that brings us up to date. Tomorrow, Rob heads back towork & it will be my first day home with the kids all day by myself. (I’mnot going to back to work until next week.) It will likely be a long day! SinceI get up with Jack super early to nurse him, Rob got up with Liam & thentook Jack for a few hours so I could get a few extra hours of sleep. Now thatpaternity leave is over, I’ll be up with both boys whenever they wake up—it’slikely that I’ll wake up to nurse Jack and by the time I get him settled, Liamwill be starting to wake up. I’ve GOT to start going to bed earlier!!) Luckily,Liam still takes a very reliable morning nap, so there’s a good chance that Ican nap then if I’m tired (and Jack cooperates). I wish the weather was nicer—I’dlove to take the kids out tomorrow but the high is 39 & the low is 24.Staying cooped up in the house makes everyone cranky.

I've had some requests to write about the things I’ve learned in my (almost) two months as amom of 2u2...Not much, lol. Here are my tips.

Have a completely babyproof enclosed area for your oldestchild. You will have to walk away to care for your younger baby and you need aplace where you can put your older child unattended for a few minutes. (Weturned our dining room into a playroom for Liam—it has no furniture, foam padson the floor and all of his toys.)

Have extras of all of your necessities. Thought you had notime when you had an infant? Multiply that by two. It’s like having twins, onlyone of them is running around the house getting into everything you don’t wanthim to while the other is crying in the swing. Things like swaddle blankets,zip up outfits, crib/bassinet sheets and burp cloths—buy more than you thinkyou need. You’ll probably never do laundry as often as you should and it sucksto wake up and realize your baby’s bed is soaking wet and you haven’t washedyour extra sheet from the last time that happened (the night before). Ask mehow I know.

If you use a pacifier, try to introduce a different typethan you did with your first child. Liam loves his Avent pacis—I’m afraid he’llnever give them up! We started with the Gumdrop pacis from The First Years forJack and he’s taken to them. Liam has picked up Jack’s pacifiers more thanonce, put them in his mouth, then promptly spit them out. So, when we’re readyto break Liam of the habit, Jack’s pacis probably won’t be an issue.

Get a good, easy-to-use baby carrier. We have a Moby &and Ergo—both of them I love for different reasons. The thing is, I don’t thinkeither of them are right for us at this moment. I love the Moby Wrap—it’sperfect for snuggling up tiny babies and getting things done around the house.What I don’t like is having to drag it through the parking lot to put it on whenI take it out in public. Sure, it’s easy to tie once you get the hang of it,but it’s impossible to keep it off the ground while you’re putting it on. Andif it’s raining? Forget it. The Ergo, I adore for older babies, but I don’t likeit for young infants (even with the insert). Liam seemed to get comfortable init when he was around 6-7 months. We recently put him in it on my back and tooka walk around the neighborhood and he LOVED it. It didn’t get much use thispast year while I was pregnant, but we’ll definitely be using it in the springwith Liam on my back, or Jack in the front. For now, I’m looking at a PetuniaPickle Bottom Sling—something that I slip over my head and slide Jack into. Ineed something that I can quickly put on, pop Jack in and then put Liam on myhip when we have to run in places like dropping him off at school. If I candiscreetly nurse in it, even better. I’ll probably order the sling this week –wish I had it now!

Get a good light-weight, easy to fold double stroller. Weuse ours all of the time. We bought the Baby Jogger City Mini & we LOVEit—can’t say enough great things about it.

Take lots of pictures. (I can’t recommend my Nikon D3100enough. It’s awesome.) Sometimes it’s hard with both kids running around, but Iwant to capture just as many of Jack’s sweet moments while he’s tiny as I didwith Liam. They change so fast…and when I get a great shot of them together? It’slike my heart explodes.

Sorry my “real” posts have been few and far between, but life is all around me right now and I’m just doing my best to keepup! I’ve got lots of pictures that I want to post (Christmas & our recenttrip to the kids’ Science Museum) and I’ll try toactually get some words out from time to time as well! I have every intentionof posting letters to Jack, a year in review post & a fun little quiz I wasrecently tagged on, it just may take some time.

Happy 2012, friends!

Houston, we have a smiler!

2011-12-29T13:01:00.001-06:00

He's been doing it for a week or two, but I hadn't been able to catch it until today!

Merry Christmas...

2011-12-25T14:00:00.000-06:00

...from our family to yours.

We Believe.

2011-12-24T23:30:00.000-06:00

{Our Tree, 2011}

We believe.

We believe in the beauty of anticipation.

We believe in showering our loved ones with treasures, whether they've been naughty or nice.

We believe that there is nothing better than time with family.

In the shopping & the stress, the excitement and the exhaustion, we believe in the magic of Christmas and can't wait to share it with our two beautiful sons...our biggest gift of all this year.

Flashback Friday: The Beach

2011-12-09T20:52:00.001-06:00

I just realized that I never posted the pictures that we had taken at the beach! Although we were kind of disappointed with the photographer overall, there were some really nice shots in the bunch.

Next time, I hope we take family portraits when I'm not seven months pregnant!!

(My parents!)

(My brother and soon to be sister-in-law!)

(Our Family!)

Wordless Wednesday: Sneak Peek

2011-11-30T18:38:00.001-06:00

Yesterday, we had our newborn/family photo session with Stephanie Fisher, the amazing photographer who took Liam's newborn photos. Not only am I so excited to see the shots of Jack in some really cute little hats, but I also can't wait to see the shots of me & my boys-- a new family of four!

(This pic was posted on FB yesterday-- we should see a few more shots on her blog in the next day or so, then our online gallery will be available to view in a few weeks. I'll update this post when there are more to see, hopefully tomorrow!)

Thankful

2011-11-26T12:49:00.001-06:00

My post is a few days late because we didn't celebrate Thanksgiving on Thursday this year-- My brother and his fiancee had to work on Thanksgiving day, so we delayed our big meal until last night so that they could join us.

We had a delicious dinner with all of our traditional foods: smoked turkey, mashed potatoes, green beans, sweet potato casserole, dressing and rolls. (We don't even bother making dessert because we eat so much everything else!) I even enjoyed a few glasses of red wine. Yum.

I love Thanksgiving. While it's often hectic trying to prepare the meal, it doesn't carry the stress of Christmas-- no shopping, wrapping, stress about money or traveling-- just family and food and fun.

This year, I have been unbelievably blessed and have so much to be thankful for.

I have wonderful friends & family who check on us, offer to help, hold our babies, bring us dinners, and constantly show their love for us. (It amazes me that a family our size has remained so close, despite our hectic lives. Though we did small individual family Thanksgiving celebrations this year, we'll all be together again at Christmas. I can't wait. The baby boom that's happened in the last 14 months will make this year extra special.)

I have wonderful parents who are so involved in our lives and who help us in so many ways, from fixing things around our home to helping us care for our kids. (I've never seen any grandparents who love their grandchildren more!)

I have a husband who is great with our children, amazing at keeping up with things at home, works incredibly hard at his job and at grad school & always makes me laugh.

And, I have my boys.

My Liam, who I'm constantly in awe of... so smart, so inquisitive, so funny, so amazing. I never thought I could love so much.

And, my Jack, the best surprise of my life...I never knew that my heart could double...Love doesn't divide. It multiplies.

Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone.

(Mostly) Wordless Wednesday: Rambling Man

2011-11-22T14:54:00.001-06:00

Before Jack came along, we still saw Liam as a baby-- but now that little brother has taken on that role, it's easy to see that Liam is ALL toddler (which thrills me and kills me at the same time). One of his favorite things to do is to take walks down our street with Daddy. Rob used to carry him and answer all of Liam's questions as he pointed to a new object and asked, "What's that?" every five seconds.

He's been walking for about six weeks, but over the past few weeks, he's become more & more steady on his feet. Monday, Daddy & Liam went on their first walk where Liam walked down the street all by himself! He had such a great time, he cried when he had to come inside.

Who dressed him with socks up to his knees, colonial style?

Hint: It wasn't mommy!

Jack's Birth Story

2011-11-21T16:53:00.001-06:00

*Warning: This is super long, so if you aren't interested in all of the birth details, just skip to the pics at the end!*

***********************

It’s seems pretty apropos that the little man whoseconception was a surprise, would also have an unexpected birth date.

Back in March when we found out our due date, I thought,“Oh, wow! Wouldn’t it be cool to have a baby on 11/11/11?” but seeing that mydue date was 10 days past that, I didn’t think there was any chance that wouldhappen. (Liam didn’t arrive until his forced eviction at 41 weeks, so I had noreason to think that this baby would be a week & a half early.)

But, as my blood pressure rose over the past few weeks and Imade multiple trips to Labor & Delivery, I realized that it was likely thatI’d end up delivering early. Especially when one doctor said he didn’t want meto go past my due date and another said she didn’t want me to go past 39 weeks.

Last Monday (Nov 7), when I made my semi-weekly trek up to the ob’soffice to get checked and have my Non-Stress Test to see how Jack wastolerating everything, my (old) doctor said that she wanted to go ahead andschedule my induction. I asked if we could do it on Friday (Nov 11) and shesaid that she wanted to push it to Tues (Nov 15) because she’d be out of theoffice until then. I mentioned several times that I was comfortable with havinganother doctor deliver me, but she stuck with Tues, saying that she wanted tobe there. (Which, I have to say, amused me. She didn’t care whether she wasthere for Liam’s birth. I’m not sure why it was so important this time.) Sheasked me to go ahead and schedule an appointment to be monitored onThursday—which I did, with the new doctor I’d been seeing.

Thursday morning, I met my parents at a shopping centerclose by so that they could take Liam for the afternoon. The plan was to go tomy appointment, then come home and do a few last minute things around thehouse. I still had a few casseroles to make, some things to wash and a nap totake! As I was pulling out of the parking lot, I started to have some visualdisturbances (aura) like I do when I get migraines. I had a bad feeling aboutit, so I took out my blood pressure cuff and checked—it was 150/110. When I gotto my appointment, the nurse checked it & it was still 145/104. The doctorimmediately sent me down to labor and delivery to be monitored.

Thursday night was a full moon and L&D was already amadhouse at 10:30am. Triage was full and I had to wait almost an hour for aroom to be cleaned for me. (I found out later that 21 babies were deliveredthat night!) I got settled in and got hooked up to the monitors, then calledRob and my parents to let them know what was going on. The doctor had said thatif my blood pressure didn’t go down, I would not be leaving the hospitalpregnant. But all I could do was wait…it went down in the early afternoon and Ithought I’d be going home. Then, it crept back up. (Probably unrelated, but Ithrew up all day long. I had to take the monitors off, go to the bathroom, getsick, then page the nurse to come back and hook me up. I think it was a stomachvirus—I threw up more than 10 times that day.) After nearly 7 hours in L&D,my (new) doctor came in and told me that I’d be having a baby in the morning& to rest up.

I made a list of things I’d need and sent Rob home to packmy bag. (Oops, that was on the list of things to do Thurs afternoon!) I made afew phone calls and settled in to eat my (hospital) dinner. Rob was feelingsick (he was diagnosed with walking pneumonia the day we came home from thehospital!) so I sent him home to sleep. There wouldn’t be any action thatnight, so I didn’t think he needed to sleep on the hospital couch. I just toldhome to come back in the morning.

Around 10pm they inserted Cervadil and I got a shot ofPhenergan to help with the nausea. It knocked me out. The next thing I knew, itwas 4:30am and the nurse was coming in to start my IV and take out the Cervadil.At 5am, we started the Pitocin and at 6am my doctor came in and broke my water.Just like with Liam, once my water was broken, the contractions got intense.The difference was that I was a little over 1cm with Liam and this time I was4cm. I made it 4 hours without needing the epidural with Liam. This time,within the hour I went from whimpering through contractions to shaking I was inso much pain.

By 8am, I was 6cm and 80% effaced. I got my epidural, butimmediately started feeling very off… I felt lightheaded, disoriented, dizzyand extremely nauseated. Then, the blood pressure alarms started going off. Theepidural had caused my blood pressure to drop to 70/40. They started flushingmy IV lines with ephedrine, trying to bring it back up, but since I had ahistory of HIGH blood pressure, they had to be careful not to overdo it. Aftertwo doses, it started to come back up, but it was a scary 15 minutes or sountil it stabilized!

After letting the epidural take effect, the nurse asked mewhat I could feel. I told her that I could feel something internally when I washaving contractions. At first it just felt uncomfortable but as contractionsgot stronger, it became painful, almost like a pinching feeling. They calledthe anesthesiologist back, who decided they needed to boost my epidural (whichthankfully, they can do by injecting meds into the line that was alreadyinserted). My nurse, in preparation for another drop in blood pressure, gave mean intramuscular shot of ephedrine in the thigh—so strange, watching a needlego into your leg when you can’t feel it.

Things settled down for a bit after that. I wascomfortable—talking and laughing. (I did not experience the shaking that I did with Liam’s epidural) and around10am, I told the nurse that I was feeling a lot of pressure. She checked me andannounced that I was 10cm, 100% effaced and +3 station. Ready to push! Well,not quite ready. We had agreed that bothof my parents would be in the room (as they were for Liam’s birth) and my auntwould watch Liam… but no one was there yet! Everyone was on the way, but no onethought that I’d progress so quickly. My aunt came to my room so that she’d beready to take Liam as soon as my parents got there. A few minutes later, theyarrived, got him settled and I started pushing.

I felt like I did at the very end of Liam’s birth—so muchpressure, I had to push and I was just certain that the baby would practicallyfall out of me. He was right there!

Ummm, no.

I pushed three times with each contraction, resting inbetween. I held the bed handles, I held my legs, I pushed my feet against thestirrups, but I felt little progress. The nurse paged my doctor about a“position check.” A few minutes later he came in, reached in to feel the baby’shead and announced that he was sunny side up.

What is it about my kids, trying to come into this worldbackwards?!

Flashing back to Liam’s birth, I asked if he could beturned. The doctor tried several times to maneuver him to turn (I even felt apop in my pelvic bone as Jack’s head ground further into my pelvis) but itcouldn’t be done. Unlike Liam, Jack had dropped so far on his own, he waswedged into position.

The doctor looked at me and said, “I can get him out, or youcan get him out. I want you to get him out… You want you to get him out. It’sgoing to take a while and it’s going to be difficult, but I think you can doit.”

So, I started pushing again. I thought that I had beenpushing as hard as I could before, but this time I blocked out everything elsein the room and tried to bear down as hard as I could. After a few pushes, Istarted hearing some encouragement from Rob and my mom. They could see hishead! He had really dark hair! He was close to crowning! But I still worried.

After about 30 minutes, the nurse called the doctor again and I was concerned for aminute that she was going to tell him that I couldn’t do it, but when hearrived he sat down and let me know we were almost there. I pushed as hard as Icould, four times for every contraction. I pushed in between contractions. Ipushed until I was out of breath and shaking. I just pushed.

Finally, I heard Rob and my mom tell me that this wasit—that his head was almost out. They were cheering me on and encouraging me asI made those final pushes that brought Jack into the world. I had begun to tearand my doctor let me know that he was going to need to do an episiotomy to getJack out safely. (I really didn’t want one, but at that point, I just wanted toget him out!!)

I gave one final push and Jack tumbled out quickly and quietly.The doctor worked to suction his mouth for what felt like forever. He was downbetween my legs and I couldn’t see him—I kept trying to sit up and leanforward so that I could see him. Then, I heard that beautiful cry and he was swiftly placed on mychest. I cried as I saw my second precious son for the first time. After aminute, the nurse took him over to the warmer to wipe him off, weigh him, measure him, and wrap him up.

Just like I had with Liam, I lost a lot of blood afterdelivery. I had warned the doctor that this was a problem last time. A new bagof Pitocin was started to help me contract as the doctor stitched me up. Mostof my focus was watching everyone admiring Jack over in the warmer, but it wasa little scary hearing the doctor say that I was bleeding so heavy that hecouldn’t see what he was doing. Each time he raised his hands up to tighten a stitch, theywere covered in blood. It took a while (and he was very good about reassuringme that I was ok!) but he got the bleeding under control.

The doctor shook hands with Rob and put his hand on my kneeand said, “That was tough. It takes a real woman to deliver a baby sunny sideup. Great job.”

Jack was swaddled and given back to me. My dad was snappingpictures of Rob and I with him. My parents took turns holding him & Rob wentto find my aunt, who brought Liam back into the room to meet his baby brotherfor the first time. (He was mildly interested.)

Jack was having some slight breathing problems, so I wasn’table to breastfeed him right away. He got a slight fever & his blood sugarwas low, so the nurses gave him a small bottle of formula—since I had plannedto breastfeed and formula feed, I was fine with this. His grunting stoppedlater that night and I was able to get him to latch on without any problems.

This delivery was a totally different experience than myfirst—it took about half of the time, my doctor delivered me and I loved havinghim in the morning! We had all day to enjoy being with Jack & had friendsand family stop by and share our joy. I wasn’t so exhausted from a long laborthat all I wanted to do was sleep! I was up and walking around within 90minutes of having him and later in the evening, I took a shower (& evendried and curled my hair!) and changed into my own clothes to prepare forvisitors the next day. My nurses were fantastic (my nurses from Liam’s deliverystopped in on Thurs night to say hello and wish me luck on Friday!) and overallit was a really great experience.

Pics from Jack's birth:

I’ll update on how we’ve settled at home in an otherpost—this one is long enough!!

Wordless Wednesday: Baby Bliss

2011-11-16T18:18:00.001-06:00

(Birth story & pics coming soon.)

Welcome to the World...

2011-11-11T23:00:00.000-06:00

...Baby Jack!

Jackson Alexander Blakely

11/11/11 at 11:32am

7lbs 10oz

21 3/4"

More pics & birth story to come!

A Quick Update

2011-11-03T23:02:00.001-05:00

I've visited labor and delivery twice in the past 24 hours. No, I'm not in labor yet, but my body certainly feels like it's revolting against the 3rd trimester of this pregnancy. You know how sick we've all been-- I thought that towards the end of last week, we were all starting to get a little better.

Tues night, I got a headache-- a bad one that felt like a migraine. Since I'm not able to take my migraine meds, I took a Fioricet and hoped that I could sleep it off. No luck. I woke up with it yesterday and took another dose. Still no better. I took a 3rd dose around 5pm and decided to go check my blood pressure. One of the things my new doctor warned me about was a chronic severe headache and elevated blood pressure. So, when it was 156/95, I went ahead and called the on call doc, who told me to go straight to labor & delivery.

I was there about three hours-- blood work looked good, no protein in my urine and baby looked good on the monitors, so they focused on getting rid of my pain. They gave me a shot of Nubain and sent me home. The meds made me feel drunk and I threw up, but I slept ok after that.

This morning, I woke up with the headache. I called the doc, who asked me to check my blood pressure, then call them back. It was 150/101. Back to the hospital I went-- I was able to go to the office first, where I saw my old doctor. I had an internal-- I'm 2cm and 50% effaced. I had another ultrasound and everything was measuring perfectly. It's tough to determine whether elevated blood pressure is causing my headaches or if the pain of these headaches is causing my blood pressure to rise. Either way, she said she'd feel more comfortable having me monitored again today...so back to L&D I went.

My labs all came back normal and after a shot of Phenergan for the headache, I was sent home with orders to be on bed rest and to come back on Monday. My doctor mentioned (several times) that since I was full term, there wasn't much benefit to keeping me pregnant much longer. She said that they don't treat high blood pressure with meds this late in pregnancy-- the treatment is to get the baby out.

Additionally, I'm having horrible congestion with a bad cough that keeps me up all night-- same old, same old that's been plaguing me for the past 4 weeks. I'm convinced that my body just can't shake it because the pregnancy is using every bit of energy that my body has left. The doctor prescribed a Z-pack along with a prescription cough medicine. Rob went to pick them up tonight only to find that the nurse that I don't like never bothered to call them in-- even after checking twice today before I left the hospital. I'm furious & miserable.

As much as I really wanted to go into labor on my own, I'm bracing myself for scheduling an induction for sometime next week at Mon's appt. My body has already made more progress on it's own now that it had when I got my epidural at Liam's induction. The vital things that I felt like needed to be done, will be taken care of by the end of the weekend...everything else can wait. It might have to.

I'll update more when there's news!

Deal?

2011-10-29T22:55:00.002-05:00

I've made a deal with Jack-- if he will bake until the end of the week, I promise to have everything done that HAS to be done by next weekend. I think he's agreed. I'm certain that whenever he arrives, there will be things that I didn't get to-- but this is the week to finish up those vital tasks, like getting Liam settled into his new room (he'll move next weekend, after all of the cleaning is done), making sure my mom has a clean bed to sleep in for the first few days we're home from the hospital, freezing a few meals and installing the car seat.

I have been doing things over the past few weeks, but between dealing with the 4th week of Liam's ear infection (and 3rd antibiotic) and my string of illnesses, it hasn't been as much as I would like. I wrote out instructions for Liam's schedule while we're in the hospital. My dad and I installed a new closet system in our front closet. I cleaned out our old bedroom closet (soon to be Liam's) & moved the clothes I want to keep to the new one, while filling a large box with stuff I don't. I packed away all of my summer maternity clothes (which will go in storage for now). I hired a cleaning lady who will come every other week. (I have lots of strengths as an individual-- housekeeping is not one of them.) I picked up the twin mattress and trundle mattress for Liam's new bed. I ordered several of Liam's Christmas gifts & Jack's baby book. I have enough newborn diapers to last us at least 6 weeks.

But, in addition to the tasks above, there's certainly still more to do! I need to wash and stock the drawers with all of our NB clothes. I need to figure out the car seat adapter for our Baby Jogger City Mini Double. I need to pack Liam's bag and my own. I need to track down all of my nursing bras, pump parts, pillows, etc. I need to pick a birth announcement & choose what we'll all wear for our newborn photo shoot.

Then, there are a few things that I really want to do (which I'm sure are the things that won't get done). I want to fill in some of the blanks in Liam's baby book & add some pictures. I want to applique him a Thanksgiving & Christmas shirt. I want to finish my Christmas shopping-- which will likely be 100% online this year. (Although my Amazon Mom Prime Benefits run out next week. BOO.) I'd like to finish & install the upholstered headboard for our bedroom that my awesome (and handy!!) dad has worked so hard on for me. But these are the things that are last on the list... the things that, if Jack is kind enough to stay put until his due date, we just might get finished.

My 37 week appointment was Friday and everything is looking good. I had my weekly NST, (Yes, those are stretchmarks, courtesy of Liam.)

where Jack concerned everyone (as he does each time) with his laziness:

Then woke up to play after being buzzed through my tummy.

When the doc came in to check on us the 2nd time, he said that everything looked beautiful. He also said that he'd prefer that I did not go past my due date (I mentioned that I was induced with Liam a week past my due date). We didn't explore that any further and I hope that we don't have to!!

I'm 1 cm dilated and the doctor's guess was that he'll stay put for a while-- but you never know. (If he attempts to come in the next 7 days, I'll just remind him about our deal.)

Wordless Wednesday: Pumpkin Patch

2011-10-26T23:49:00.002-05:00

On Sunday afternoon, we made our trip out to the Pumpkin Patch! Liam wasn't feeling 100%, so we didn't end up taking a hayride out to the field to pick our pumpkin, but he had a great time driving the tractor, riding on the train and running around! Hope we do this every year!

Liam Walking! (Video)

2011-10-20T23:20:00.002-05:00

Liam took his first steps a few weeks ago and last week we caught him walking on video. Watching this now, it's amazing how far he's come in a week. He's now zooming from one side of the room to the other & he's much more sure of his steps. I'll definitely take another video soon to show his progress.

Watching him learn to walk has been the most amazing milestone!!

Wordless Wednesday: Baby, It's Cold Outside

2011-10-19T12:18:00.003-05:00

{leather patches on his elbows? ::dead::}

And one of mama-- 35w2d:

35/35

2011-10-17T23:05:00.000-05:00

It's so hard to believe that we're already to the big 35/35-- 35 weeks pregnant, 35 days to go.

I'll say it again. 35 days to go.

OMG!!!

I've been pretty good about posting belly pics each week on Twitter, but not here-- I usually take them on Tuesdays in the bathroom at work. This one is from last week.

We're totally not ready yet and with all of the sickness in our house, it's been very difficult to get the things done that we need to do. Liam seems to be feeling better. He's on a new antibiotic that seems to be working and although his teeth are still bothering him, they've broken through his gums, so the worst seems to be over. Me? I'm another story.

It's been over 2 weeks and I still can't seem to shake whatever I have. My throat felt better for a while after finishing my antibiotics and the pink eye has disappeared, but I'm congested, I have a horrible cough that keeps me up all night, my throat is hurting again and in the past few days I've developed lots of pressure and pain on my left ear. I think it's sinus related.

When I was at the doc last week, I was given a prescription for Zyrtec-D and Flonase-- it's helped some of my symptoms, but not all, and will not make me well if it is, in fact, another infection that's causing this trouble. He mentioned that if I felt pressure in my face/teeth to give him a call and he'd phone in another round of antibiotics. I think this ear pressure is enough to assume it's sinus, even though I don't have a headache. (Unless it's an ear infection?)

The last (and worst?) of my ailments, I'll just have to wait out until delivery. I am experiencing miserable sciatic nerve pain, to the point that I'm barely able to walk from one side of our house to the other. It seems to be ok in the morning but get worse as the day goes on. Obviously, this is slowing me down a lot. This pain on top of being sick has left me with very little energy to finish the tasks that need to get done! (Closet cleaning, baby laundry, moving Liam into his new room, etc.) I just hope that the baby does not come early-- I need to feel better and I need to get my ducks in a row. I fear how I would emotionally handle going into labor within the next few weeks, yet I know it's entirely possible.

Which brings me to my doctor's appointment last week. I've all but decided to switch doctors at this point-- my doctor canceled her 5th appointment this pregnancy with me last week because she was going to be out of the office. This has happened repeatedly and she was not there for Liam's birth. I figure, what's the point of continuing to make appointments with her if she's not going to be there anyway? I know that whoever delivers my baby will be the person on call, but I'd at least like to be able to count on my doctor to be there for office visits. When my appointment was canceled last week, I asked to see whoever was available.

I really liked the doctor I saw-- he was incredibly thorough, more thorough than my current doctor has ever been. He asked me lots of questions, especially about how sick I've been and what I've been taking. He did not agree with the meds that my doctor's nurse had suggested I take & disagreed with her statement that I couldn't be given any additional antibiotics at this point. (Scored major brownie points with me. I can't stand that nurse and every time I have an issue, I have to deal with her. I called last week and left a message asking if my doc could see me for whatever it is that I have, and her response was that my doctor couldn't see me unless I was pregnant. WTF?! Did she not have my chart right in front of her? I paused and then said, "I'm 34 weeks pregnant." Then she launched into how I should take Robitussin D.)

Anyway, back to the doc-- After talking about how bad I've been feeling, the doc wanted to check on the baby to make sure that he's handling everything ok, so I was sent down the hall to be monitored (NST). Although his heartbeat was steady around 150, the doc did not see many accelerations/decelerations that you should see with an active baby. After about 40 minutes of monitoring, he said that everything was ok, but that he'd feel better if I had an ultrasound to check his growth, my fluid levels and the placenta. Everything looked great-- but the doc said he'd like me to have a NST each week from now until delivery just to check on the baby and make sure that he's still better off inside and not outside. Here's baby Jack's profile:

When I got up to the desk to make my next appointment, the receptionist informed me that my doc would be out again Friday, so I requested that my appointment be made with the doctor I had just seen-- I may request him from now on. I'll have my Strep B test this week (joy) and I'll have an internal before I get monitored for a while.

Fingers crossed that baby is still going to bake a bit longer!!

Wordless Wednesday: Fall

2011-10-12T23:50:00.002-05:00

Smocked long-alls and baby turtlenecks? ::drool::

Ok, not totally wordless.

You know how I keep promising that I'm going to blog more often & then all you hear is silence for a week or two? Yeah, this time the silence is brought to you by a cold (Liam), ear infection (Liam), teething molars (Liam), a sinus infection (me), strep throat (me), pink eye (me) and the aches & pains of a 34 week pregnant sick mommy of a sick one year old (me).

(Rob, miraculously, has escaped all illness so far. Lucky.)

Pinterest Challenge #17: Autumn Wreath

2011-09-30T20:32:00.000-05:00

I must've seen this wreath re-pinned on Pinterest about 100 times. Everyone loves it!

It looked easy enough, so I decided to try to make it myself. I bought a grapevine wreath, two bags of Spanish Moss, a roll of burlap garland and a handful of decorative mini pumpkins! An hour last Sunday afternoon and it was done-- It will hang on our door until a Christmas wreath goes up!

I think I need to add some pumpkins to mine. I would have preferred a 12" wreath, but all Michaels had was 18" wreaths. The etsy seller makes hers with one pumpkin for each person in your family, so mine has three-- for Rob, Liam & I, but I think I may add one for Jack and Chloe (our pup)!

http://pinterest.com/pin/234964665/

Pinterest Challenge #16: Halloween Bucket

2011-09-30T20:31:00.000-05:00

I saw these Halloween buckets on Pinterest and fell in love with them! However, the pin was a link to an etsy shop and the seller charges $22 per bucket and $7 for shipping! Ouch!

So, I bought a small black bucket from Hobby Lobby for $2.50 (it had a Halloween sticker on one side that I was able to remove) and found an etsy seller who specializes in vinyl decals to cut me the circle, the initial, the name and the polka dots for $6! I have a Cricut and could have cut these myself, but I don't love the fonts that I have on my cartridges and buying one roll of vinyl would have cost me more than the decals did!

I can't wait for Liam to carry this Trick-or-Treating for the next few years (the bucket's only about 5" tall) and I ordered the decals to make one for Jack, too!

http://pinterest.com/pin/181411115/

Pinterest Challenge #15: Fishy Favors

2011-09-30T20:30:00.000-05:00

I love clear pillow boxes. You can fill them with cute things, wrap a ribbon around them & slap on a cute label and you have a great party favor. I filled mine with goldfish... naturally. I wrapped an orange ribbon around them and a sticker with our fish logo.

http://pinterest.com/pin/59463241/

Pinterest Challenge #14: Bubbles

2011-09-30T20:29:00.000-05:00

Bubbles with a personalized label seemed to be the party favor of choice for all recent 1st bday parties! I had to get in on the action-- I bought orange bottles of bubbles at Party City, removed the labels and replaced them with the ones I made (in PhotoShop).

http://pinterest.com/pin/45442218/

Pinterest Challenge #13: Napkin Rings

2011-09-30T20:28:00.000-05:00

I love bright cutlery and napkins at a party or shower! Wrapping up a fork, spoon and knife in a napkins and holding it together with a napkin ring with a personalized label is a nice touch!

I bought teal cutlery & orange napkins. I printed teal polka dot paper strips (that matched the background of the invitation) to wrap around the napkins, then secured them with a round sticker with the goldfish logo and "Liam's First Birthday" on them.

http://pinterest.com/pin/239230072/

Pinterest Challenge #12: Cookies

2011-09-30T20:27:00.000-05:00

When I saw these cookies, I knew I HAD to try to make them for the party. I'm not a baker, but I gave them a shot and while they're not perfect, I liked them and I'll definitely try decorating cookies with royal icing again! I learned a lot during my "trial run" and when I made them for the party.

These are sugar cookies, with blue royal icing flooded on the top. The fish are Goldfish Graham Crackers dipped in orange candy melts.

Cookie Idea: http://pinterest.com/pin/45410258/

Royal Icing Tutorial: http://pinterest.com/pin/69381900/

Pinterest Challenge #11: Birthday Banner

2011-09-30T20:26:00.000-05:00

You can't have a first birthday party without a birthday banner! I loved these scalloped circles strung on ribbon, so I decided to make my own! I designed the circles with letters and fish in PhotoShop, printed, cut and strung them on an orange ribbon!

http://pinterest.com/pin/247468037/

Pinterest Challenge #10: ONE

2011-09-30T20:23:00.002-05:00

When I saw these letters spelling out "ONE", I knew I wanted some at Liam's party. So simple and sweet. I found some 8" paper mache letters at Hobby Lobby and painted them with orange acrylic paint. They looked great on the mantel of the fireplace!

http://pinterest.com/pin/45470958/

Pinterest Challenge #9: Circle Garland

2011-09-30T20:23:00.001-05:00

When I saw this circle garland on Pinterest, I thought it was so cute and looked so easy! I bought some scrapbook paper in colors that matched the rest of Liam's party stuff, punched out circles in several sizes with craft punches, then sewed them together.

Quick, Easy, Cute!

http://pinterest.com/pin/45432501/

Pinterest Challenge #8: Photo Display

2011-09-30T20:23:00.000-05:00

I knew that I wanted to display pics from Liam's first year at the party. Pinterest had all kinds of ideas for photo displays, mostly using numbered clothespins. Since his party was goldfish themed, I painted clothespins blue, glued a fish with a number 1-12 on it and hung my pics from a fishing net!

I was really happy with how it turned out and his guests had fun looking at how much he's grown!

http://pinterest.com/pin/45433223/

Pinterest Challenge #7: Applique Party Shirt

2011-09-30T20:22:00.004-05:00

Liam wore the sweetest jon jon smocked with cupcakes on his birthday. See?

But there was NO WAY that I was letting him anywhere near his orange smash cake wearing that, so I made him a little appliqued onesie to match his hat and his goldfish party theme. I saw so many cute ones on etsy and thought about ordering one, but ended up making one last minute.

Not exactly the same, but this one was quick, matched his hat & he looked really cute in it!

http://pinterest.com/pin/45418230/

Pinterest Challenge #6: Party Hat

2011-09-30T20:22:00.003-05:00

Oh, did you hear? My baby turned ONE last week. I made lots of stuff for his party!

His party hat was one of my favorites! I saw lots of really cute personalized hats on Pinterest and Etsy, and this one was so easy to make. I just took a large square of fabric and embroidered the "1" and Liam's name on it, the took a hat template and traced it onto the fabric (leaving a few extra inches along the edge) and cut it out. I sewed the hat into a cone shape, lightly coated my cardstock template in glue, slid it inside the fabric to give it some stability, then folded the ends under and glued them inside the hat. I sewed the pom pom on the top (by hand), then glued elastic on the inside for the chin strap and ric rac on the outside edge.

I was a little nervous that he wouldn't wear this long enough to even get a pic, but Liam was a champ and I got several cute ones. I'll share them in his bday post. I think this hat is going on his shelf in his room!

Hat: http://pinterest.com/pin/237599118/
Pom Pom: http://pinterest.com/pin/212700749/

Pinterest Challenge #5: Teacher Appreciation

2011-09-30T20:22:00.002-05:00

I had no idea how Liam would react to starting Mother's Day Out twice a week so I decided it was best to make a ~~bribe~~ gift for his new teachers. I've started a whole board on Pinterest dedicated to little things we can make for his teachers to show how much we appreciate them.

This was the first thing I made-- I found the free printable, saved it, used PhotoShop to modify it and presented it to each of his teachers with a $10 Starbucks giftcard. I love how the original uses the corrugated side of the coffee sleeve, but all of the ones I grabbed at Starbucks had information stamped on the inside. I also LOVE the baker's twine on the original (my new obsession), but I didn't have any at the time. (Since then, I've ordered a small sample pack with 5 colors and I made a little pom pom for Liam's birthday hat with it!)

I think mine still turned out ok & I'm happy to say that Liam's doing great at school! His teachers love ~~coffee~~ him!

http://pinterest.com/pin/87623790/

Pinterest Challenge #4: Library Cards & Pockets

2011-09-30T20:22:00.001-05:00

By far, my favorite paper craft I've ever made... What book themed baby shower could be complete without library cards for guests to write lovely words to the sweet baby on and pockets to put inside the books that guests would bring?

I found a .pdf template of a library card pocket, took it into PhotoShop to add a design to it, then printed, cut, folded and attached. Love these. I took a library card template and used it to design my own, in gray and yellow, of course.

(Baby's name is a secret, so I blurred it!)

http://pinterest.com/pin/238375118/

Pinterest Challenge #3: Paper Straws with Flags

2011-09-30T20:22:00.000-05:00

I love colorful paper straws-- they are one of my favorite party decorations! They're even cuter when they are personalized with a little flag. I bought gray and white striped straws (swoon) and made yellow and gray flags with the baby's initial on them. So fun!

http://pinterest.com/pin/81015110/

Pinterest Challenge #2: Paper Covered Pencils

2011-09-30T20:21:00.000-05:00

While I'm usually against most baby shower games, I found a really cute one where guests had to guess the name of classic children's books based on an alternative title. For example, "Unsightly Aquatic Bird" is "The Ugly Duckling. I printed the game in yellow and gray font on white card stock.

It seems like if a pencil/pen is required to complete a game, hosts are always scrambling for them at showers. So, I decided to include a pencil (tied with twine) to the game cards. But no ordinary pencil would do! I found a tutorial for paper covered pencils on Pinterest. I took scraps of paper left over from my book covers and covered pencils in them!

http://pinterest.com/pin/238214481/

These were super easy & super cute. I'll definitely make them again, maybe for Liam's teachers at school for some occasion. The possibilities are endless-- you can print a design on a piece of computer paper or use leftover scraps of scrapbooks paper. If you decide to make them, a few tips: Let them dry overnight before you attempt to sharpen them & don't use an electric pencil sharpener. I also figured out that not all cheapie pencil sharpeners are created equal-- I picked up a few at Walmart and they tore the pencils up when I sharpened them. I picked up a different brand at Walgreens and they worked perfectly. Both were 99 cents!

Pinterest Challenge #1: Book Garland

2011-09-30T20:20:00.001-05:00

A dear friend of mine recently had a book themed gender neutral baby shower, and while I couldn't be there, I desperately wanted to make some things that would show her how much she means to me and what a joy her baby will be.

This was one of the first ideas that I came across (from craft goddess Martha Stewart)-- book garland. I loved that I could make the covers any color I wanted. I printed some digital scrapbook paper, cut out little book covers on card stock, then glued in the text pages (designed in Photoshop with an excerpt from Pride and Prejudice!). I also painted wooden clothespins to hang the books off of twine to match the gray and yellow theme of the shower.

Here is my "pinspiration" and my project:

http://pinterest.com/pin/252207135/

The Great Pinterest Challenge: A Warning

2011-09-28T22:29:00.000-05:00

Oh, um, hi.

I used to blog here, once upon a time... but life just got a little too hectic and a little too stressful and something had to take a backseat for a bit... I'm sorry to say that it had to be this space. I miss it and hope that I can be better about posting on a regular basis.

I have lots of things to talk about! I'm 32 weeks pregnant. Last week I turned 31. My mom turned 63. Liam turned ONE! I have stories and pictures and fun things to tell.

But that's not what this post is about.

I'm obsessed with Pinterest & if you've signed up, you probably are, too. I've pinned so many fun ideas for parties, our home, my wardrobe, crafts, etc. But unfortunately, it seems like this is often the definition of Pinterest:

http://pinterest.com/pin/103345940/

My lovely friend Christina, who blogs about crafts, IF and her beautiful baby girl Wren over at The Subfertile Frugalista came up with The Great Pinterest Challenge-- a chance for us to actually make some of those things we've pinned, show them off and be entered in a drawing for some fun prizes that will, no doubt, further crafting addictions everywhere. (If you want to participate, please do!)

Lucky for me, the challenge ran through the end of Sept, so I had the opportunity to include back to school stuff, a friend's baby shower, party stuff and now Halloween stuff! In order to participate in the challenge, I need to create a post for each project that I completed, then link each to her blog...and, ummm, there are 17 of them.

So, if you're interested in the craftiness and want to see what I've done, tune in for a flood of posts in the next two days. I'll show a pic of what "pinspired" me (snort), what I made, and include a link. If you don't care about (awesome) crafts, then skip them and tune in for Liam's birthday post when I'm able to finish it!

I promise it won't be another three weeks.

Wordless Wednesday: First Haircut

2011-09-07T11:14:00.001-05:00

Liam was starting to grow a mini-mullet, so we decided it was time to get him a little trim.

I can't believe my baby is big enough to need a haircut!!

Fish Food

2011-09-05T14:23:00.000-05:00

I'm in full party planing mode now for Liam's birthday.

While I haven't been as productive this weekend as I should have been, I did knock some tasks of my list. I purchased napkins, lanterns, tissue paper for pom poms, table cloths, cups and cutlery at Party City. I ordered cupcake liners and paper straws from etsy. I worked on a few printables in PhotoShop while watching Julie and Julia & I finally did a test run on some cookies that I really want to make for Liam's party.

I may be crafty, but I don't bake. But when I saw these, I knew I had to give them a shot:

So, yesterday afternoon, while the boys were napping, I did. I bought a roll of sugar cookie dough (hey, you've got to cut corners somewhere!) at the grocery store, rolled it out, used a cup to cut out circles and baked them.

I used this recipe to make royal icing. Since this was a practice round, I made some lime green icing (it looks yellow on my screen) and some light blue icing. Once the icing was at a soft peak, I piped a circle around the edge of the cookie using a pastry bag and a #3 tip.

Then I watered down the icing (a few drops at a time) to make it runny. I bought a squirt bottle used for candy making to flood the cookies, but couldn't find it, so I ended up scooping it on with a spoon. The first few, I put too much icing on and it started spilling over the piping, but then I got the hang of it!

While the icing was hardening, I microwaved a handful of orange candy melts and dipped Goldfish Graham crackers in them.

Then, using some icing, I attached the fish to the cookies & piped on some bubbles.

Not too bad for a first attempt!

Goals for the next batch (I plan on making them the weekend before his birthday):

Have a steady hand when piping on the outline. I got better with each cookie, but I still think it could use some work.
Find a deeper color for the blue background-- I just used a few drops of blue gel food coloring that I bought at the grocery store, but Michaels/Hobby Lobby offer so many other options in their baking section. I'd love to find a more vibrant color.
Practice piping the bubbles on-- these look messy. I used icing with a soft peak, but it had been sitting out for a little while and might have been a little harder than it should have been. It was kind of gooey when I added the bubbles, so it was tough to get clean little circles. I'm not sure if the icing was too stiff or not stiff enough-- will practice a bit with different consistencies. Any tips would be greatly appreciated!

Overall, I'd call them successful & I'm looking forward to serving them at the party!

First Day of School!!

2011-08-31T15:35:00.002-05:00

Ok, so it's not really "school"-- it's Mother's Day Out, but it's the first time I've ever left Liam with strangers & the first time he's been around a group of kids his age. My parents watch him on Tues & Thurs while I work, and his babysitters have all been family members. So, needless to say, I was very nervous about leaving him this morning.

He did great!!

He couldn't have cared less when I left, his teacher said that the only time he cried was when another baby got really upset and he had a HUGE smile on his face when he saw me at the door to pick him up! His teacher seemed very capable and personable, and raved about how cute/sweet/easy he was today. His "report card" looked great.

How did I spend my time? I went grocery shopping, leisurely strolling the aisles and sipping some coffee. I came home and put everything away without a baby crawling under my feet. I took a shower. I caught up on some emails. I did a bit of cleaning, and before I knew it, it was time to go pick him up!

This time is such a blessing for me-- some peace before Jack arrives. Not only does it give me extra time to get things done around the house, but it also gives me time to not do anything. This pregnancy has been a bit tougher than it was with Liam-- I'm not eating often enough or well enough, I'm not getting enough rest, I'm in a lot of pain because of the pressure on my sciatic nerve and I'm running around chasing an 11 month old while 7 months pregnant. I'm really tired...

As indulgent as it feels to be a SAHM and have someone else caring for Liam for 4 hours two days a week, I look at the other moms picking up their babies (glistening with sweat from the gym, with freshly manicured nails) and know that they don't feel any guilt, so why should I? There will be very little free time to be had once November rolls around. These few months will, hopefully, help me recharge my batteries so that I'm rested & ready to face our new challenges.

This school has a special place in my heart-- my late grandmother taught here for many years and I have so many memories of going to work with her in the summer to "help" with the babies. I loved it. One of the ladies who taught with her is still there and when I saw her today she gave Liam a hug "from his grandma Phyllis." Two of my aunts have worked at the school and several of my cousins have attended. Currently, my cousin Memo is teaching there and her daughter Millie is in the classroom next to Liam's!

Right before we went in:

Welcome!

New Friends:

A ~~bribe~~ gift I made for his teachers:

What a great day & big milestone!

Wordless Wednesday: Head Over Heels

2011-08-24T10:24:00.000-05:00

Every day...

I fall more in love with this little guy!

(He's having an amazing time at the beach!)

I'm still alive! I promise!

2011-08-22T23:45:00.000-05:00

Ugh. It's been forever since my last post and even longer since I've had a post with any real thought behind it...and for that, I'm sorry. The truth is, I'm busy and tired and have had quite a few projects going on that have taken up my free time (Liam's naptime).

Between now and the end of Oct, I have three baby showers to plan, decorate and execute, Liam's first birthday party to finish up, and a baby's arrival to prepare for. Needless to say, I'm a little overwhelmed. Not in a bad way... just in a "don't have time to blog, still reading everyone's posts but am horrible at commenting on them" kind of way. I'm happy, making things for people and stretching my creative muscles which always makes me feel good, but I don't want to get out of the habit of posting on a regular basis, as I enjoy that too!

Some recaps-- Liam turned 11 months on Sunday. Did you have a chance to read his very late 10 month post? Oh, wait.... No, you didn't because I still haven't posted it. Sigh. It's coming and his 11 month post will be later this month. Can I just say that while I enjoy writing his letters and documenting what he's done, I hate doing the monthly pics and I'm glad that we'll be done next month. They were so easy at first-- now he won't sit still, won't stay posed, eats the monkey, his monthly sticker, etc. They're frustrating for both of us at this point! From the first birthday on, there will still be plenty of pics, but they will be candid shots. Thank God.

Monday, I entered the 3rd Trimester at 27 weeks. I'm pretty much in denial that there's a baby coming in 13ish weeks until after Liam's first birthday party... and even then, October is full of other parties to be planned (2 baby showers and a Halloween party) and projects to be done. I keep reminding myself that we have almost everything we need, but there are plenty of newborn essentials that we need to stock up on (ummm, diapers?) and clothes that must be washed. Yeah, I'll get to it...

I'm feeling good overall, but I've felt pretty worn down over the past week or so. I'm trying to get a little more rest and take it easy when I'm not chasing Liam around. My sciatic nerve pain has been really bad this pregnancy and when it hits, I can barely walk. The doctor said that it's because a 2nd baby sits much lower than the first and recommended that I try a pregnancy support belt to take some of the pressure off of the nerve. If that doesn't work, I'll be heading to physical therapy. These are small (but painful!) complaints and I'm happy to say that everything is progressing normally. I had my glucose test last week & I'll assume that no news is good news until my next appointment in three weeks.

For now, I'm pushing all of these things aside, because we're on vacation. We're down at the gulf in a fantastic beach house with my family. I am loving this time away, watching Liam exploring the beach for the first time, taking him into the ocean and swimming in the pool. We'll be here all week & I can't wait for my brother and his fiancee to join us tomorrow-- we're having a great time.

I'm sure there will be a post full of pictures from our trip (Wordless Wed is all I've managed to do on a regular basis lately!) but here are a few from our first two days here.

Ok, friends. I promise I'll try to be better... just not this week. :)

Weekend Update

2011-08-07T23:00:00.002-05:00

First, thank you to everyone who commented on my last post!! Each comment offered me some much needed support, and more importantly, perspective. I know in my heart that everything is going to work out and that we will become a very happy family of four-- it's just tough facing the unexpected unknown. I can't wait until November when I'll probably look back at these feelings with disbelief because Jack makes our family so complete. Until then, I am so thankful to have such a wonderful support system.

Posts like the one I posted on Friday have really left me wanting a better way to reply to people's comments. I hate that I write a post, someone leaves some words of support or contributes to a discussion, and I don't have a good way to respond to them directly. It's one of the few things about Blogger that drives me crazy (other than it's frequent crashes lately!). I started looking into it and I found a widget I could install which adds this feature to Blogger! I installed it this morning, so starting with this post, I should be able to directly reply to a comment once it's posted. Can't wait to try it out!

We had a great weekend and I wanted to share some pics!

Friday was a big day for our family-- my big brother proposed to his girlfriend!! My mom and I were heavily involved in the ring part (he sent us a pic of what we wanted and we went to diamond broker to pick a loose diamond and have the setting made) but the proposal was all his own. He decided to take her to Rock City in Chattanooga (they live in Nashville).

The happy couple:

Where he popped the question:

The ring!

I couldn't be happier for them and truly believe that my brother has met his perfect match. The wedding will be next May and we're so excited!

Back in Bama, our weekend wasn't quite so monumental, but we had a good time. Saturday morning, we got up and headed down to the Peanut Depot-- this great little place on a cobblestone street downtown that has been using antique roasters to roast peanuts for over 100 years. Usually, if we head down around 10am, we can catch them fresh and hot, coming out of the roaster! We grab a Coke, sit on the curb and throw shells into the street as we eat hot peanuts. It's kind of a tradition in my family-- my granddad and dad used to bring me here when I was little and my dad can't wait to take Liam when he's old enough. Liam, obviously, could not have any, but we snapped some pics anyway before we headed down to the Farmer's Market.

Today, Liam and I spent the afternoon at the pool-- one of our favorite places. He's such a water baby! (Apparently I was, too. My mom tells me that I was jumping off the edge into the 6ft. deep pool at 18 months old.)

My parents came over and my mom and Liam swam together while my dad took pics:

My cousin Memo and her husband Craig brought baby Millie (now 11 weeks old!) to swim for the first time:

And this picture just kills me...When did he grow up?!

Hope your weekend was great, too!

The Life Waiting for Us

2011-08-05T21:00:00.002-05:00

I was working in Photoshop late last night, making this little quote for a dear friend of mine (one whose path to creating a family hasn't gone quite as she expected) because I want to print it, put it in a frame and mail it to her to let her know that I am thinking about her.

A train whistle blew loudly and I looked at the video monitor to see if Liam might stir. He usually sleeps through the train that passes behind our house once or twice a night and the train in the distance that blows its whistle a handful of times each day. But this time, he bolted awake and screamed at the top of his lungs. I rushed into his room, picked him up and rocked him gently as I shhh'd him. He snuggled against me (something he hasn't done in a long time), burying his face in my neck. He was calm and comforted and usually I would put him back down and leave the room, but last night I just held him. I inhaled the scent of his hair, watched his eyelids flutter, and kissed his fingers.

And then I cried.

It wasn't long before I was holding him, swaying, and sobbing. He had fallen asleep in my arms but I couldn't put him down. He usually doesn't want to be held for long periods of time (he wants to go! do! move!) and we've always put him down awake so that he can soothe himself to sleep. In that moment of holding him, realizing that the times that he would let me do this were becoming fewer & farther between, and realizing that come November, I'll have even fewer moments like this, my heart felt like it was breaking.

Friends, I've been struggling a bit, but not sharing.

Partially because I know that some members of our community may just not want to hear it and partially because I haven't been able to give words to my feelings. But, last night was like a flood and today, I'm going to hold my breath, write this post, and hope that people understand and have some empathy.

I'm a planner. Always have been.

You've seen Liam's birthday party plans, his room, and my to-do lists before he even arrived. While infertility challenged the way that I thought would start my family, I eagerly charted my temps, made my doctor's appointments, did the research, etc and every one of those things made me feel like I was one step closer to the baby I so desperately wanted to have.

When I got pregnant with Liam, I was ready. It was like a huge reward for all of the stress of our journey TTC. For a year we had been waiting for the day it might finally happen and it felt so satisfying once it did.

I always wanted to have (at least) two children, and after our struggles conceiving Liam, it was my idea to forgo birth control to "just see what happens." I was confident that there were no surprise babies in our future, but welcomed the idea. After IF, getting pregnant easily is like winning the fertility lottery, right? And if that were to happen, I’d be overjoyed, right?

As it turns out…no.

I never expected to feel this way, but I'm almost 25 weeks into this pregnancy and I still feel completely unprepared and shocked by this child's existence...and not really in a good way. I'm not sure how much of what I'm feeling has to do with this pregnancy being unexpected vs. how much of it is the typical feelings of a woman carrying her second child.

To be clear, I want this baby. I understand what an unbelievable blessing it is to have a second child, and that we didn't struggle to get here. I fully expect to love him every bit as much as I love Liam--but right now, I just don't feel the same connection that I feel with Liam.

The best way I can describe it is that it feels like a stranger is coming to take me away from my son. I feel horribly guilty saying that, but that's what it feels like.

People have multiple children all of the time-- twins, triplets, quads! People have Irish twins and 2u2, and they're great parents! So, what gives?

I think it has to do with the planner and the worrier in me. I did not plan this. In my plan, my kids would be 2 years apart, not barely a year. In my plan, I had more time to devote to just Liam so that I wouldn’t miss anything. In my plan, Liam would be more independent so I didn’t miss anything in the life of my 2^nd child. In my plan, I would feel ready to welcome another baby.

Life gave my plan the middle finger.

I worry that I will feel like I'm not able to give enough attention to Liam and that he'll feel abandoned by me. I worry that I won't be able to focus on his miraculous milestones, because I'll be tending to his brother. I worry that I'll miss out on nights like last night (*cue the tears again*) because of the new baby. I'm sending him to Mother's Day Out (Wed & Fri, 10am-2pm) before I feel like he's ready (ok, before I feel ready) because I don't feel confident that I can handle the two of them all day every day. I feel like shit that I have to send him away to have someone else take care of him, even for a few hours a few times a week.

Less often, I think about what Jack might miss out on. (Add another heaping spoonful of guilt to my plate for that.) How unfair is it that he will likely not be breastfed as long as Liam? (I'm feeling like I really need to get back on my anxiety medicine-- if this entire post is not proof, I don't know what is-- and I'm unable to take it while pregnant or BFing. My goal is to make it to 6 weeks this time. At that point, I will weigh my emotional health and make a decision whether or not to continue. This is a far cry from the year goal I had with Liam, and the 6 months we actually made it. More guilt.) I think about his baby book that will likely stay largely empty. His milestones met with far less excitement than his brother's. His hand-me-downs when everything his brother has is new. And I think about all of the things we've shared with Liam that we will not share with Jack in the same way...simply because it's not the first time.

I've perfected my response to strangers' acknowledgement of my pregnancy. I beam and say, "We're so excited!" and "They'll be so close!" And when people look at my precious son and my growing belly and say, "Wow. You're going to have your hands full,” I'm quick to smile and say, "I'd rather they were full than empty." Now if I could just actually feel that way. And logically, I do feel that way--emotionally, it's a bit more complicated.

I’m the second child in my family and I’ve never felt less loved than my brother. My mom (and everyone else I know who has more than one child) has assured me that the second I see this baby, I will immediately fall in love with him the exact same way I did with Liam. I believe them. I really do— my mom said that she had all of the same fears that I have now while she was pregnant with me. I just worry— What if I’m the one woman that doesn’t happen to… simply because I can’t get past the way it was “supposed” to be?

I'm not feeling like this every day. I have my good days and I have my bad days. The bad ones are largely fueled by the hormones of pregnancy, I'm certain. I'm just struggling with how to cope with this new life, this new child, this new plan.

I've stared at that quote all day today & I've realized that maybe I need to hear it just as much as my friend does.

Whatever I Want Wednesday

2011-08-03T23:00:00.001-05:00

It's not Wordless Wednesday, it's not So What Wednesday... It's Whatever I Want Wednesday!

I'm working on a few "real" posts, but I had some random updates that I wanted to post until then...and since I'm feeling a little guilty that that 75% of my posts for the last month have been Wordless Wednesdays, I decided to just throw some random tidbits out there.

******

First, thank you to everyone who commented on my last post regarding circumcision. I was so pleased that there was a respectful discussion and that people who are on both sides of the debate felt free to express their thoughts and opinions. I've seen some posts on the same subject turn quite nasty and while I didn't expect any of my readers to respond that way, I knew that it could happen. So thank you for participating and as Trinity said, "If you educate yourself and follow your parenting intuition, you can't go wrong." Hear, hear!

******

In other news, Liam is awesome. (Hehe!) We had kind of a rough day today which is really out of character for him-- he woke up very early, only napped for 30 minutes this morning, was incredibly cranky throughout the day, took less than an hour nap and by the time Rob got home from work, we were both kind of a wreck. Rob and I popped him in the stroller (We are totally crazy about our Baby Jogger City Mini Double), took off for a walk and all was right with the world again...for a little while. Check out that smile:

He looks so grown up! When did that happen?!

******

This morning, I pulled out a loaf of Banana Nut Sour Cream Coffee Cake from out freezer for breakfast:

This is a loaf that I baked around this time Aug/Sept of last year as I prepared for Liam's arrival-- and it was still delicious! It got me thinking about the need to build a freezer stash of meals before Jack arrives. Before Liam was born, I had 6 casseroles, 2 containers of fresh green beans, 10 containers of soup/chili and 3 loaves of banana bread in the freezer-- I feel like I should have more this time. (I'll definitely make these again, but if anyone has any great freezer recipes to share, please do!)

Liam starts Mother's Day Out on August 30th (Wed & Fri from 10am-2pm), so I'm hoping that this will free up some time to start my cooking/freezing, among other things. And honestly, I'm looking forward to some extra down time as I enter the final months of this pregnancy. Chasing after a 10 month old while 6 months pregnant has been tough and I can only imagine it will get tougher as I near the end of Oct/beginning of Nov.

******

The former dining room, now playroom is coming together! The 4 sets of foam pads we ordered will be here tomorrow, creating a completely covered floor. Also, I mentioned to my parents that we needed some toy storage for that room and they bought this for the boys for Christmas! It will be perfect for storing all of those random toys that are all over the floor right now & I love that there is no lid to pinch little fingers.

By the way, these are Badger Basket storage bins that were featured on Zulily this week. I found out the hard way that you should always do a little internet searching before ordering a product from Zulily. They had these at 50% off the price that the company's website had them listed for, so even with the shipping (and a surcharge) I thought we were getting a good deal. Then, I googled them this morning and found out that Walmart actually carries them (exact same brand, exact same product) and will ship them (Site to Store) for free! I canceled the Zulily order and saved $30 by ordering them from Walmart.

******

And finally, I'm 6 months pregnant. (24w2d today) We've passed the viability milestone and are so thankful that everything continues to go smoothly. I had a doctor's appointment last Friday and baby measured right on track-- Although, I'm starting to wonder how big this baby is going to be, considering how big I already am at 24 weeks. See for yourself:

Here is a link to my 24 week pic with Liam-- definitely smaller. Although, looking back through the pics, I really made the largest jump in size between weeks 20-25. I got gradually bigger every week after that, but still had people comment that I never got REALLY big. It really doesn't matter as long as he's healthy. Blood pressure was a bit high (not high enough to treat) and weight was only up 1 pound from pre-pregnancy and that may have just been b/c I stuffed my face at a local bagel shop right before the appointment! Glucose test is scheduled for the 19th.

Ok, that's all I've got for now!!

The Great Debate

2011-07-28T00:00:00.001-05:00

To circumcise or not?

Liam is circumcised.
(Jack will be circumcised, too.)

It was done in the hospital, 2 days after he was born, after a penile dorsal nerve block was administered.

This was not a decision we took lightly. It was not a decision that we made without research and discussion. It was not a decision based on societal norms or religion and it was not a decision that was a mistake. I have never regretted our decision.

I respect the fact that there are many parents who are opting not to have this procedure done. There are just as many reasons not to do it, as there are to do it-- it's not without risks (no surgery is). I think that parents who make a decision regarding circumcision with no knowledge of the procedure, its benefits, its pain management options, its risks and its potential complications are likely to regret their decision, whatever they choose. We should always do our best to make informed decisions when it comes to our kids.

I do not, however, believe that the decision to circumcise an infant is an uneducated or thoughtless one, as I've had people imply when this topic has come up in conversation.

There are several reasons we believe that circumcision was the right choice for us. I don't list them here to try to convince you that it's the right decision for your family-- rather, to show the thought process that was behind our decision.

Protection against Penile & Prostate Cancer

In a 2000 study done by a large health maintenance organization, surveys showed that 97.7% of the men who were diagnosed with Invasive Penile Cancer were not circumcised. Penile cancer is rare, mostly affects older men & is not a big concern for us-- But this added protection is a bonus to a procedure we were planning on doing anyway. Intact men were shown to be twice as likely to be diagnosed with Prostate Cancer.

Prevention of Infant Urinary Tract Infections

Research has shown that intact infants are 12 times more likely to develop UTIs than circumcised infants. While UTIs are certainly not life threatening (in normal cases), anyone who has had one knows how incredibly painful they can be.

But THE reason-- the one that would convince us to circumcise our boys, even if none of the other reasons existed, is this:

Studies have demonstrated that circumcision can reduce the risk of HIV/STD infection as much as 60%.

When I state this statistic, some people point out the fact that the majority of these studies have been done in Africa. Lack of clean water and sex education have been listed as reasons why these statistics may not be valid. But, clean water does not prevent the spread of HIV/STDs (otherwise America would be free of these diseases), and as many condoms as I may throw at my boys one day, I cannot guarantee that they will protect themselves every time they choose to be sexually active. Yes, it's true that their overall risk is higher in areas where more of the population already has the disease-- but HIV is far from absent in the US. Therefore, I do not believe that it matters where these studies were performed-- they still present valid correlations.

Additionally, it's worth mentioning that there have been studies done in the US, but mostly among homosexual men-- I do not discredit these studies as I cannot guarantee my boys will be heterosexual (and frankly, do not care).

As for the risk of contracting and spreading HPV, not only does circumcision potentially protect my boys, but it also could help prevent cervical cancer (caused by HPV) in their heterosexual partners. As a woman who has experienced multiple abnormal pap smears with precancerous cells (and had them treated via cryotherapy), I would love to see the rate of HPV transmission reduced. In addition to HIV & HPV, it is also suggested that circumcision reduces the risk of acquiring and transmitting other STDs such as HSV (Herpes) and Chlamydia (which can lead to infertility).

Are there additional ways to reduce STD transmission other than circumcision? Sure. We will teach our boys about safe sex and the importance of using condoms. Gardasil (the HPV vaccine) has recently been approved for use in boys-- our boys will get the series of shots. And as clinical trials continue, hopefully an HIV vaccine will be available long before my boys are sexually active... and maybe even a cure.

I don't look down on any parent who chooses not to circumcise their son. Handing your precious and perfect baby boy over to a doctor days after birth and letting her remove a piece of his body is not easy. I can understand a parent who looks at the facts above and makes the decision that they are not good enough reasons.

For us, they are.

Several people that I know who have decided to leave their son intact have asked the question, "Who am I to make that decision for him about his body?"

My answer is always the same, "Who am I? I'm his parent. I'm going to be making decisions for him for a long time & I'll do what I believe is best for him."

We all do what we believe is best for our kids-- whether that's choosing to circumcise or not, vaccinate or not, co-sleep or not, breastfeed or not. We make the best decisions we can with the information we have.

And I know we made the right decision for us.

Feel free to tell me about your decision and why it was right for you.

(Mostly) Wordless Wednesday: Alphabet of Liam

2011-07-27T00:00:00.001-05:00

While I was busy creating PhotoBooks of Liam's first year to display at his birthday party, I had one other project that I was working on-- a gift for him. Originally my plan was to create a book of pictures of our family members with their names...but our family is so large that I didn't have the time to collect all of the pictures while the books were on sale. (I still hope to do this in the future.)

So instead, I decided to create an "Alphabet of Liam" board book that has pictures of people he knows or things that he likes. (We included pictures of the children in our family as well as Aunts & Uncles that he knows, but our extended family & family he hasn't met yet will go into the next book.)

I'm really happy with how it turned out & I placed my order Monday night-- here it is!

Front Cover:

Back Cover:

I can't wait to give it to him!

A Few Updates

2011-07-25T22:09:00.000-05:00

I've been a really bad blogger (and horrible commenter, too) for the past few weeks-- I just realized that my last two posts have been Wordless Wednesdays!

But I do have an excuse-- Things have been really busy around here.

First, we moved bedrooms-- we cleared out our room, moved across the house and got settled in our front bedroom after having it painted a lovely Pewter color. (We have some work to do before it's ready for a reveal!) We had our old bedroom painted blue, just in time for the delivery truck to arrive with Liam's new bed (which needs a mattress!):

We had shelves built in the living room to help keep all of our electrical cords out of reach-- a project that we've wanted to do since before Liam was born. As usual, there was a bit of a struggle with our contractor to get them done right, but we're really happy with how they turned out. We're excited to actually be able to put stuff on them in the next few days! (Southern humidity and oil based paint is not a great combo.)

We started moving all of the furniture out of our dining room and my dad installed a gate across the opening between our living room and dining room. While I'll miss having a nice space to entertain, it's much more important to have a safe, contained area where Liam can play-- especially once Jack arrives.

We're working on finishing up babyproofing this room & will be purchasing about 4 more sets of foam tiles to cover the floor soon so that he avoids as many bumps and bruises as possible. It's a great space though, and it's already made our lives much easier. He's free to explore and we don't have to stop him every other step!

Speaking of steps, he hasn't taken any yet, but he's pulling up on everything and standing for long periods of time. He has even let go a few times-- he made it a few seconds before sitting down.

{Standing & playing at the Water Table at the Children's Museum}

I've been really busy finishing up my PhotoBooks-- and I finally ordered them tonight! I can't wait to share the Alphabet Book that I made for Liam's Birthday on Wordless Wednesday this week!

Whew!!

Oh, and I'm 23 weeks pregnant.

(And ready for a nap.)

(Mostly) Wordless Wednesday: The First Year

2011-07-20T22:02:00.001-05:00

If you follow me on Twitter, you've probably seen my recent tweets that make me seem like a walking spokesperson for ArtsCow.com. It's only because I think they have great prices (especially when they release awesome discount codes) and because they have products that most other web based photo companies do not have.

There are tons of places you can create photo books, but ArtsCow is the only place I've seen where you can make photo board books. I think these are awesome-- the books will also stand up to years of abuse by little hands. (No ripped pages!)

They're having an awesome sale on the board books right now (until 7/25), which they call "Deluxe" Books-- 6x6 books are $12.99 and 8x8 & 9x7 books are $19.99. Free Shipping! (Code: DBKS1299)

I have a few books that I'd like to make: one with Liam's newborn photo shoot pics & one with pics and names of our family (as a birthday gift to Liam). But the one I wanted to get done now, is a photo book of his first year to display at his birthday party. I've been working on it for the past week or so and it's finally done!

I couldn't wait to share the pages! The black outside borders are not so large in his book-- I just designed them a little bigger than I needed to so I'd have room to zoom in on the center design.

(Click on any of the pics to enlarge.)

My plan is to display this book at his party, then mail it to Rob's Dad or Grandmother-- Neither of them have received enough pics from us this year. Then, after the party, I'll create a new book using most of these pages, but adding in a few extras like our family beach trip in Aug and his birthday in Sept for us to keep-- a complete first year.

Just an FYI-- The company is headquartered in TX, but their printer is in Hong Kong, so if you need a book for a certain date, order early. (Looks like the standard shipping time for photo books is 2-3 weeks.) I'll be sure to post pics (and a review) of our book once it arrives!

Wordless Wednesday: Jazz Brunch Baby

2011-07-13T00:00:00.001-05:00

Letters to Liam, 9 months

2011-07-12T00:01:00.000-05:00

My Little Liam,

Sweet baby boy, you have had an incredible month of milestones… After months of “almosts” you’re doing one new thing after another.

No more bottles! When we went to your 9 month appt Dr. Farr told us that it was time to start trying to use sippy cups—I was so proud to tell him that we’ve already ditched the bottles and that you’ve been using sippy cups exclusively for several weeks. I am so happy that we didn’t have any problems transitioning—but I wasn’t surprised. You usually go with the flow. At your appointment, you weighed 18 lbs and were 29 inches long.

Teeth #5 & #6 have popped through—your sweet little gummy smile is now a mouth full of adorable little white chompers. You’re using those teeth to eat REAL food now. You figured out how to pick up your puffs and feed yourself and from then on, you’ve been eating everything. You’re not a picky eater at all-- you love macaroni, grilled cheese, goldfish, peaches and anything else we’ve given you! It’s so fun to watch you chase food around your highchair and navigate it into your mouth with your chubby little fingers.

Several weeks ago you started crawling, and watch out! We’re in trouble. What started as a few unsure moves forward has turned into you racing across the room so fast we can hardly keep up. It’s awesome to watch you learn. The house is not baby-proof yet, so we have to stay on our toes. We’re working on creating a space that’s safe for you and gives you a chance to move around a bit without us constantly swooping in to save you. (Which you HATE.)

We’ve gone to the pool several times and you LOVE to swim—I just knew you’d love the water & I was right. You are so happy and content. You’d rather skip the baby pool and head straight into the deep end. You love the freedom to float around, kicking & splashing. Knowing how much you love the water makes me even more excited to take you to the beach in August.

Time is racing towards your first birthday and I’ve just started planning your party—I can’t wait to celebrate our first full year as a family of three all of the accomplishments that entails. You are amazing, my sweet boy & growing up so fast right before my eyes.

You take my breath away.

I love you, boo-bear.

Mommy

P.S.
I'll try not to be so late with the 10 month letter, but I won't make any promises.

P.P.S.
I've tried so hard to keep the composition of these photos the same each month so that you can see how much he's grown-- but after 30 minutes, 90 photos and both of us getting cranky, I gave up on getting him to lay down on his rug. He doesn't want to lay down, EVER-- he wants to MOVE! Next month, I'm going to borrow my dad's awesome camera in hopes that I might get at least a few decent shots, but it's safe to say our lovely green & white striped rug background is a thing of the past. (But seriously, no more crappy cell phone pics-- the delay is so long I miss everything.)

What to do?

2011-07-11T13:03:00.001-05:00

I had Liam's 9 month letter prepped and ready to post today (yes, it's over 2 weeks late) but I felt the need to post this instead.

About six weeks ago, I wrote this post, about needing to tell a good friend of mine that I was pregnant with Baby #2. She's been struggling with infertility since before we started TTC. It was hard to tell her I was pregnant with Liam. It was even more difficult to tell her about this baby. I've now had two pregnancies before she's had one. And I can't imagine how difficult that is for her.

This is a friend who I consider to be very close (sorority sister, college roommate, bridesmaid) but not someone that I keep in touch with as often as I’d like—especially over the past several years. I really didn't want to tell her at all, but I didn't want keeping the secret to damage our friendship either, so I decided to keep it short and sweet. I sent this email at the beginning of June:

Hi Hon,

I feel like it’s been ages since we've talked!! Our schedules seem to be opposite and we're always playing phone tag. I hope that things are great in XX and that you get to spend some time at the beach when you travel to XXX with XX. We're going down to a friend's beach house in Panama City over the 4th of July and I can't wait!

We're doing well-- It's really hot here already. I read the other day that it's about 15 degrees hotter than the average for this time of year. Luckily, my parents' neighborhood has a pool & I think we'll be living in it this summer! They're doing great and really enjoying keeping Liam on Tues & Thurs while I work part time. It's a great schedule-- I get a break and get to get out of the house and make a little money, but we aren't paying for childcare and Liam gets to spend time with his grandparents. It's worked out awesome.

Now for the news... I'm pregnant.

As you know, we struggled to get pregnant with Liam and were so happy to finally be successful with the help of our fertility specialist. This baby was a complete surprise. Since we had so much trouble having Liam, we really figured we'd struggle again-- we were not trying to get pregnant, but we were not taking any precautions against it either. Rob's sister Barbara, who delivered Jack about a week before I had Liam, called me one day to tell me that (surprise!) she was pregnant. After we got off the phone, I just had this nagging feeling that I should take a test, based on some of the symptoms she mentioned. I pushed it out of my mind for a few hours, but later, took a test and it was positive. (Sadly, Barbara found out at 14 weeks that the baby had stopped growing around 8 weeks. It's been very hard on her and hard on us.)

Hon, when we were trying to get pregnant with Liam, it just about killed me every time someone announced that they were pregnant. While I couldn't wait to share this news with you, I also know that you guys have been trying to start your family for some time now. We haven't talked in a while & I would love to hear about where you guys are and if you've made any decisions about potentially seeing a fertility specialist? It was a really hard step for Rob and I to take, but it was ultimately, what brought us Liam.

I miss you and think about you often! I'm sorry we're not in touch more, but I would love to hear all about what's going on with you guys.

I love you!

Stef

*******************

I waited. And waited. And waited. I never got a response. I thought, “Maybe she just needs some time to process this and she’ll respond later.”

But a response never came.

I’ve been thinking about her a lot. Saturday morning (over a month later), I sent her a text and said, “Not sure if you got my email and a month or so ago, but I’ve been thinking about you a lot.”

No response.

I asked Rob what he thought I should do & he thought I should just pick up the phone and call her. So, I did. After I put Liam down for a nap today, with shaky hands, I called her. It rang once, then I was forwarded to voicemail.

It was hard not to cry as I left her a message… “Hey honey, it’s Stef. I’ve tried to get in touch with you a few times over the past month or so, but haven’t been able to reach you—I’m a little worried. If you can, please let me know you’re ok. I love you.”

I realize, as I write this, that I’m being selfish in my need for a response from her. I want her to tell me it’s ok & maybe I want to hear that she forgives me. But maybe it’s not ok. Maybe my pregnancy announcement is the one that finally broke her fragile heart—and as much as I want to make things ok, I can’t. I can't change our circumstances. Perhaps my repeated attempts to make contact are hurting her more and pushing her further away.

I don’t know.

Please help, friends. Do I just stop? Is there something else I can do? I want our friendship to continue…but more importantly, I don’t want to hurt her. I'm afraid that I already have.

Wordless Wednesday: He shall be called...

2011-07-06T00:00:00.001-05:00

Holiday

2011-07-04T09:41:00.004-05:00

Heading home today after a wonderful trip to the beach with friends. Had a great time but can't wait to see Liam!

What a fantastic way to celebrate the 4th of July & 20 weeks!

(Pic I snapped from our patio on Friday afternoon)

Anchors Aweigh

2011-07-01T23:22:00.000-05:00

It all started with a bed.

For years, I've been drooling over the Pottery Barn Kids catalog & imagining the rooms that I would one day create for my kids. There were so many things that I loved, but I always thought that this bed was perfection...

I couldn't imagine a more amazing bed for a little boy...among all of the plastic toddler beds and Spongebob bedding, this speedboat bed with details reminiscent of the 1940's is so classic. I wanted it bad, but we would never spend that kind of money on kids' furniture...we just couldn't.

Several weeks ago, my mom bought it for Liam...and when she told me, I burst into tears. Giving is definitely her (and my dad's) love language. They are both unbelievably generous and get such satisfaction from giving people a gift they really want and couldn't purchase themselves.

So with the countdown on until the bed is delivered (in two weeks!), my mom and I have been searching for the perfect paint, furniture & accessories.

Not positive, but I think we've picked a color. (Of course, colors never really look quite accurate on a computer screen, but it's close enough... On my screen, the color is a bit darker than it is in person.)

We purchased this Madras Bedding:

And this Chenille Border Rug:

And these Fisherman Sconces:

My dad, who is unbelievably amazing at refinishing furniture, is helping me turn this super-cheap craigslist dresser purchase into this crisp white nautical style dresser with a stained wood top:

We found a floor sample of this nightstand (cheap!) and will refinish it to match the dresser:

We have this bookshelf from Ikea that will be painted Navy and tilted on its side-- we'll fill the cubes with (red?) baskets or canvas bins to hold his toys.

He's getting the Anywhere Chair for Christmas:

We had our rehearsal dinner at a restaurant in Charleston called The Boat House, and as a decoration, we ordered a banner spelling out "Blakely" in nautical flags. It's currently hanging in Rob's office so I don't have a pic, but we'll hang it on the wall. It looks like the flags here:

We're going to remove the wood blinds in the room and install blackout shades, then hang some navy panel curtains with grommets from pegs using rope like this:

And the best thing? I'm currently trying to track down a used (or new & cheap) sail to hang behind his bed. I think I need a minifish sail-- I've got a few sailing enthusiasts looking into it for me.

And that's Liam's new room, which should be coming together very soon!!

The painting will be done next week, the rug should be here in a few days & the bed will be delivered in two weeks. I hope we'll get started on refinishing the furniture in the next few weeks. It may take me a while to find the sail and finish accessorizing the room-- but we hope to have everything done within the next month or two.

To clarify, Liam is obviously not big enough to sleep in this bed yet! We'll be decorating his room as if he was, then setting up the pack n' play for him to sleep in until he's ready to move into the bed (with rails), so that we don't have to buy another crib. I want to move him into his new room several months before the new baby arrives to avoid any potential association with the new baby displacing him. The dresser that we're refinishing will have a changing pad on top, so the room will be just as functional as a nursery, and will hold most of his toys, which is needed as we're losing our extra bedroom where we keep them now.

The "Other" Party

2011-06-29T18:38:00.001-05:00

As excited as I am about Liam's 1st birthday party, there are some people who I can guarantee aren't as pumped: Our childless friends.

Sure, goldfish and swimming and plastic buckets are awesome for kids, but I'm quite certain some of the closest members of our gang would rather take a rain check.

So, we'll be having Liam's 1st Birthday Party: The Sequel on the weekend after his birthday with our buddies.

Here's the invite for that party:

(click to enlarge)

This one will be extremely low key-- and I mean that. No decorations, no smash cake, no fuss. I can't make any promises that there won't be any party favors, though.

(Special thanks to the lovely Kate for pinning this idea to her Pinterest board!)

The Party Planning Post

2011-06-26T15:30:00.004-05:00

You guys, I am so psyched about Liam's first birthday party.

I came up with lots of ideas and at first, I thought I was going to do a carnival themed party, but the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to save that for a birthday that he'll actually remember and enjoy. (Oh, and I'll be 32 weeks pregnant on his birthday, so I think a party without complicated logistics would be best.) This year, simple is better.

Well, as simple as it can get, if I'm planning it.

After poking around on some kids' party planning websites, Etsy & Pinterest (my new obsession!) I decided on a Goldfish themed pool party. Cute, Liam loves to swim, and we can have the party at my parents' neighborhood pool so that no one has the burden & stress of hosting.

Without further ado, here are his invitations: (click to enlarge):

Stickers for envelopes & napkin rings:

For the decorations, I'll make aqua and orange tissue pom poms & get polka dot ballons:

Definitely want a few of these:

I've started cutting out my own teal & orange circles to make this garland:

I'll use these to label the food:

Along with aqua and orange tablecloths, plates, napkins & flatware, I want to order some of these:

Liam's Smash Cake will look something like this:

And we'll have cupcakes with these:

I plan on teaching myself to "flood" cookies & if I'm successful, I'd love to make these:

I bought a big stack of these buckets for $1 at Michaels to use for party favors:

I'll use these tags:

I plan on filling them with some fun things like these aqua & orange water bottles (Also $1 at Michaels). I'm considering personalizing each kid's bottle by cutting their name out in vinyl (I can do this with my Cricut) and sticking it to the bottle:

And, I found these fishy pool rings-- at $2.25 each, I plan on putting one in each of the favor buckets, plus throwing a few in the pool for decoration.

Real goldfish are also in the plans for party favors, for kids whose parents who give their blessing to have them as pets. (Yes, I will ask before the party. One mom has already said yes, but I need to check with others.)

I have more ideas, but I'm trying to reign myself in-- the good news is that I already have quite a bit done, and the party is almost 3 months away. If I can just try to work on a few things each week, I'll get everything done in plenty of time. In the meantime, I'm having a great time brainstorming and adding ideas to my Pinterest board (My username is StefBlakely.) If you're on Pinterest, let me know so I can follow you!

************************************************

*Full disclosure*

I know just enough about Photoshop to get me in trouble. I can fairly easily take someone else's design and modify it to be my own. I did not draw this little fishy myself. I "borrowed" it from someone and created backgrounds and layers and text to create my own paper products-- which for someone who has training in Photoshop would probably take a few minutes. For me, it takes hours. I'm proud of the work that I'm teaching myself to do. I just want to mention that I would never sell a design that wasn't entirely my own...but I will gladly use it for my own parties.

...And He's Off!

2011-06-23T21:15:00.000-05:00

What a difference a week makes!!

Name Our Baby

2011-06-23T12:34:00.000-05:00

The great name debate has begun.

We had a girl name picked out, but now we're on the hunt for the perfect boy name and we need some help. We have a name in mind, but haven't settled on anything yet and would like some new ideas to consider. (We're partial to traditional, preppy sounding names.)

It has to go with Blakely (obviously) and it needs to compliment Liam.

Ok, GO!

It's a...

2011-06-20T13:07:00.000-05:00

BOY!!!

Are you stunned? I am!

Since the pregnancy has been so different, I really thought that it might be a girl, but it was very clear today that Liam will have a baby brother!

There are a few things that I'm a little sad that I'll miss by not having a little girl-- picking out her prom dress, planning her wedding together, seeing her have her own babies one day, etc. BUT, as I've learned from having Liam, being a boy mom is awesome, and I can't wait to do it again.

Most importantly, everything looked perfectly healthy today (nasal bone clearly identified!). This is such a relief after the anxiety I've had the past few weeks.

Now the debate over names begins! We had our girl name picked out, but hadn't agreed on a boy name-- didn't think we needed to worry about it... WRONG!

Happy Father's Day

2011-06-19T19:30:00.000-05:00

We've had a busy week & an even busier weekend! Our trip to Nashville was great and we all survived the three hour car ride thanks to the help of a borrowed dvd player. Baby Einstein was a life saver!

This was the first time Liam has stayed in a hotel, and he did great-- naptimes were a bit of a challenge, but he did great at night and didn't give us any trouble at bedtime. We hit a huge milestone, too-- on the carpeted floor of our Hyatt Place hotel suite, Liam crawled for the first time & we caught it on video:

By yesterday, he was already zooming across the room. (Translation: We're in deep trouble & we need to babyproof our death trap of a house.) More videos to come.

Liam's saying Dada constantly now & Rob melts when he does:

We had a terrific dinner at Amerigo's in Nashville last night-- one of our old favorites from when we lived there. Liam was very well behaved, despite the fact that we kept him up more than three hours past his bedtime. We were all pretty wiped out by this morning, so after a quick breakfast, we decided to get on the road to head home. We had planned to grill out at my parents house tonight, but decided to postpone it until tomorrow, when we're all rested and we hopefully have news of a heathy baby to celebrate as well. (Our anatomy scan is at 10am tomorrow.)

Although I wish that we could have spent more time doing something special with Rob today instead of spending most of our afternoon in the car driving home, we were all together and that's what matters. He's taking some much deserved time off from Daddy Duty tonight and lounging on the couch-- he was such a huge help this weekend. I plan on going to bed when Liam does tonight.

Today, I feel extremely lucky for the two dads in my life.

I feel lucky that Liam made Rob a father & grateful that he's so good to our little boy:

{on the train at the zoo}

& lucky that my own dad is so involved in our lives and loves me (& Liam!) more than words can say.

{my wedding}

{the night Liam was born}

Happy Father's Day! I love you both, so much!

17 weeks

2011-06-13T10:49:00.000-05:00

Another week has passed!

Movement has really picked up this week and I'm feeling the baby almost every day, sometimes several times a day. This is more than a month before I really felt Liam. I hope that the thumps get stronger soon and that Rob will be able feel this little one kicking in the coming weeks.

Still thrilled to say that I haven't gained any weight yet. And, I'm starting to enjoy the belly. In previous weeks, even though I'm much bigger, much earlier this time, it's always been a mix of bloat and baby. I finally feel like everything is rounding out into a baby belly and that things are starting to even out a bit. I loved my big round belly while I was pregnant with Liam-- I've never felt more beautiful... Well, up until the last few weeks when I became miserably uncomfortable.

I hate shorts. I never wear them, but I broke down and bought a pair of black maternity bermuda shorts this weekend-- I may live in them this summer. My mom surprised me with another pair of khaki bermudas and I'm thankful to have them. I can't believe I managed to end up pregnant two hot summers in a row... I bought a second maternity bathing suit this weekend, too. We have two beach trips planned this summer, plus, I plan on taking Liam to the pool often, so I really needed a second.

I'm feeling ok-- those pesky migraines have still come a few times in the past week. The Fioricet helps, I just hate constantly taking pain meds. I feel like I'm putting the baby in danger, even though they were approved by my doc.

I'm still having quite a bit of anxiety about our upcoming anatomy scan (one week from today). I'm not completely obsessing over the "soft markers" issue that I wrote about last week... more just a vague worry that something might be wrong, even though I have no reason to think that there is. I've used my doppler several times in the past week and while the heartbeat is whooshing away in there, but I'm still having a hard time sleeping at night.

I miss my Ativan.

I took Ativan for years to help cope with anxiety, but had to stop taking it (along with Wellbutrin) when we started TTC. It's been hard that over the past two years, the time when I've probably needed it most, I've been unable to take it. With two littles, 14 months apart, I think I'm going to need to start taking it again after the baby is born. Unfortunately, that will mean that Baby #2 may not be breastfed for very long. I hate that. It's very important to me, but I also know that a relaxed mother is a better mother. I'm just going to see how things go in November, and if I feel like I really need it, please remind me not to torture myself over the decision.

The plan is to stay busy this week. I took Liam swimming yesterday (always a great day!), I'm meeting up with my mom today, I work Tues & Thurs and we're leaving on Friday morning for a weekend trip to Nashville which should be fun. Since my brother wasn't able to get off of work on Sunday to come here and spend Father's Day weekend with us, we're all heading up there.

Friday afternoon, we're going to the venue where my brother and his fiancee will get married next May and my mom and I are going to help her settle on some design stuff for the wedding. (Can't wait to get started! I've already designed the Save the Dates!) We may also have a chance to go with her to try on wedding dresses-- I'm so happy that she wants my mom & I so involved in the wedding planning. It will be a great opportunity for us to get to know her even better & I hope that we can make her special day beautiful!

Happy Monday, everyone!

You Need This

2011-06-11T12:43:00.001-05:00

Munchkin's Star Fountain.

Lights up, spins, shoots water. $9.99 at Babies R Us. Also comes in pink.

You want this thing...trust me.

Baby, You Can Drive My Car

2011-06-09T00:00:00.031-05:00

Pics of Liam and his Marmi (my mom) playing while Mommy got a massage yesterday:

*Just in case it's not clear in these pics, the car is in park!*

Speaking of cars, we just transitioned Liam from his infant carrier into his (still rear facing!) Britax Marathon. He looks so comfy and I'm thrilled not to have to lug him around in the carrier-- it was getting SO HEAVY!

I thought that after yesterday's post, a light hearted post with cute pictures was in order for today. Thank you so much for your support, ladies. The comments I got, the emails I received and the tweets that were sent my direction were so comforting. As I was telling Slopie, it's so nice to hear someone say that they understand your worry, then reassure you that it's likely you have nothing to worry about. I always know that I can count on you guys to make me feel better.

Worry.

2011-06-08T10:28:00.003-05:00

Do you ever feel like you're just waiting for the other shoe to drop?

I do.

I feel like infertility and loss (my own and others) have robbed me of a comfort during pregnancy that I'll never know. I mentioned in my last post that some days, I forget that I'm pregnant. When I realize it, I am plagued with guilt that already, I'm taking this pregnancy for granted, that this second baby is not getting the same attention that Liam did, that I'm somehow messing up with this baby, before it's even born.

Yesterday was a very cruel day for some women who were ready to become mamas. Several losses, including one mom who lost her second set of twins, are just haunting me today. Add that to my dear SIL's recent loss and I'm really struggling to believe that this pregnancy will result in a healthy baby in my arms in November.

I haven't been feeling this way the whole time... I was actually pretty carefree the first few months of this pregnancy, but I've felt it sneaking in over the last month or so. I so desperately want to support women who are grieving, but I realize that hearing about these tragedies makes me somewhat neurotic. Some recent thoughts:

Some days, I forget to take my prenatal vitamin. What problems is this going to cause my baby?

This baby wasn't planned. Does the universe read that as "unwanted"?

My blood pressure has been high. Will I develop preeclampsia?

I already have one healthy baby. Am I tempting fate by attempting to have two?

The tech wrote on my ultrasound report at our NT Scan that she didn't detect a nasal bone. What does that mean?

The last thing, I didn't even mention in my post about the NT Scan because at the time, I really wasn't concerned about it. The Scan went well and the fluid at the back of the baby's neck measured at the low end of normal (perfect). When my doctor went over the report with me she mentioned that the tech wrote in the paper work that she did not detect the presence of a nasal bone (which I know is a soft marker for Down Syndrome). My doc kind of breezed through it until I stopped her and questioned it. She said that it was more important that the fluid measured in the normal range and that it could be that the baby either hadn't developed it yet or that the baby was just turned at an angle that made it difficult to see-- In other words, the tech didn't write that the baby didn't have one, just that she couldn't see it.

The doc told me not to worry about it, but you know how we are...we worry about EVERYTHING. Doctors say that everything will be ok...and then sometimes it isn't.

Soft markers mean virtually nothing, especially when there are no other indicators of a problem. I keep reminding myself that our odds are very good that we have a healthy baby (girl?) growing inside me. Sometimes I wonder if all of these "advancements" in technology are really doing us more harm than good. Years ago, the NT Scan didn't exist-- and while I'm certainly thankful that these tests help families of babies with issues prepare for what is to come, I also know that they can provide a tremendous amount of worry for women with perfectly healthy babies.

I've taken some comfort reading this article: Obstetrical Sonography: The Best Way to Terrify a Pregnant Woman which says:

“What are we trying to accomplish with the sonographic observation of “Down syndrome markers” in low risk women? Think about it! For the tiny residual number of Down syndrome fetuses that may potentially come to light by chasing down every last “marker” we intend to put at least 10% of all pregnant women with perfectly normal fetuses through a great deal of worry.”

Our anatomy scan is 12 days away & in the meantime, I'm trying to separate my reality from others' heartache. I'm hoping I can be supportive, but not torture myself with all of the what-ifs. I'm hoping that the next scan will calm my fears and assure me that all is healthy and well.

Today, I'm just trying to force myself to believe that it is.

16 weeks

2011-06-06T11:07:00.001-05:00

Seriously?!?

How is it possible that I'm already 4 months pregnant? The time feels like it's just flying by. With Liam, I was focused on every little moment of my pregnancy, to the point of obsession. It's so different this time. Between Liam & family & work, I have days that I forget that I'm pregnant.

I'm feeling good. Morning sickness has passed and I'm thrilled to be able to toss the Zofran. I'm tired, but not as tired as I was during my first pregnancy. My belly is growing, but thankfully I'm haven't gained any weight. (I'm very hopeful that my weight gain will be minimal, like it was with Liam.)

Last week, I started feeling flutters! I didn't feel them until much later with Liam because I had an anterior placenta. This time, that little fishy swimming feeling was undeniable. It's awesome and I can't wait until it becomes more regular and evolves into stronger kicks that Rob can feel.

Several weeks ago, my blood pressure was slightly elevated. (I think it was just nerves from having the NT Scan.) I was having terrible migraines & had to go into the office to get a prescription refill of my painkiller (Fioricet). Well, they took my blood pressure mid-migraine and, of course, it was sky high, so the doctor prescribed me blood pressure meds. I went to have them filled, but have had a difficult time finding a pharmacy that had them in stock-- in the meantime, when I've checked my blood pressure at home, it's been fine. So, I've decided to delay the meds, keep monitoring it and talk to the doc about it when I go back.

We have our anatomy scan two weeks from today! So excited to (hopefully) confirm the sex of the baby! I'm still feeling like it's a girl, but I have a 50% chance of being wrong. I'll definitely be surprised if I find out it's another boy, but either way it will be great to know. Hopefully baby is less modest than s/he was last time.

When the new baby arrives, s/he will be in the nursery, so we're working on a new room for Liam. We're moving into a new bedroom (and will finally get back to our redecorating plans) and Liam will move into our current room. (Since we live in an old house, there is no Master bedroom-- the rooms are the exact same size.) I'm excited to share the plans for his new room-- I'll post about it soon!

Bathtime: Then & Now

2011-05-30T00:01:00.002-05:00

It's amazing how much he's changed.

Just Keep Swimming

2011-05-28T22:41:00.000-05:00

We took Liam swimming for the first time today. The sun was shining, there wasn't a cloud in the sky and Liam absolutely loved being in the water. I was a little worried that the pool would be too cold for him and that he would cry, but he was such a champ and had a great time. In fact, the only time he cried was when we took him out to go home!

I'm so glad that he's comfortable in the water... floating, kicking and playing. He'll definitely sleep well tonight. We can't wait to take him back!

Wordless Wednesday: Liam's New Highchair

2011-05-25T05:00:00.001-05:00

I should tell you...

2011-05-23T08:00:00.007-05:00

Infertility is, unfortunately, no stranger to my real life circle of friends or family for that matter. One family member adopted, one used fertility treatments & two of my dear friends from college are currently struggling to get pregnant.

The first, has a beautiful two year old son—the result of her 3rd IVF. They’ve just started the journey of providing him a sibling & it’s already been a rough road.

The second, is not as open about her struggles. She and her husband are private people & while she would be willing to answer any question I asked, she does not openly discuss the issue. I do know that they’ve been trying to get pregnant since we started TTC, maybe before. I do know that she’s upset, frustrated, heartbroken that they have not been able to get pregnant so far. Her husband travels a lot for work, so they dismissed much of the first year and a half of trying as just bad timing. But I know that she knows, at this point, there’s something else going on. What I don’t know, is if/when they’ll pursue testing and treatment.

I don’t talk to her as often as I’d like… we live states away & seem to have completely opposite schedules. She doesn’t read the blog & since I’m not on FB (no clue if she is) we don’t keep up that way either. Our communication consists of a few phone calls a year…but even though we don’t talk often, she’s very dear to me and I would do anything to avoid hurting her.

I need to tell her I’m pregnant… and I absolutely dread it.

This girl is the sweetest, most selfless person I’ve ever known. She never puts herself first. Telling her I was pregnant with Liam wasn’t easy, but she was so happy that we were pregnant, I can honestly say that I doubt she even paused to consider the fact that she was not. (You know—the typical I’m happy for you but sad for me IF emotion? I don’t know how, but she doesn’t do that.) She was so happy for us, so glad we liked our RE, so glad the Clomid worked.

But a surprise pregnancy is a different beast.

It’s SO unfair. I know that this is on the major list of IF etiquette no-nos to say this… but I would have given anything for this pregnancy to have been hers instead of mine. She’s been so patient… she’s been so kind, and yet still, she waits. Of course, I’m thrilled about this baby… but I could have waited. She’s waited long enough.

She called me the other day & I stared at the phone ringing in my hand until it rolled over to voicemail. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t break her heart. I couldn’t tell her that, again, it’s someone else’s turn and not hers.

She’ll be happy for me, I know it, because that’s just who she is. But I just want so desperately to have the opportunity to be happy for her…for her to get her wish and bring home her baby.

I’ve decided to e-mail her instead of calling her. I hate doing it this way, but I think that giving her a chance to read the news and digest it however she needs to would be much better than putting her on the spot and forcing her to react over the phone.

So, friends, any words of advice as I write this difficult email? I’m hoping to focus primarily on talking about where they are in their journey, but this news needs to be shared before I get any further along… I don't want her to feel isolated by not sharing the news, but I dread it anyway.

Letters to Liam, 8 months

2011-05-21T23:32:00.001-05:00

My Little Liam,

Happy 8 months! My big boy, you are so happy & so much fun to be around. You are constantly smiling and laughing. You giggle like crazy when we tickle you or give you an extra strong hug.

It’s getting warm outside & Daddy & I can’t wait to take you swimming! You seem to love the water so much—you splash and kick in your bath. Speaking of baths, we finally started bathing you in the big tub! You’ve outgrown the sink so we bought you a bath seat and you tried it out this morning. You loved the freedom of being able to sit on your own in the tub. Marmi & Poppy just rented a beach house in FL for August and we can’t wait to go there with them & Aunt Sandy and Uncle Eric!

You’re getting stronger and a little more stable at sitting up. You can sit for longer periods of time without tipping over but you still fall when you try to reach for a toy. You’re not crawling yet, but you’re trying! You lay on your tummy and kick your legs hard enough to get your knees underneath you—you just can’t quite figure out how to go anywhere.

Your fourth tooth (left central incisor) has come in & you are starting to look so different! What was once a gummy grin is now a smile full of adorable tiny teeth. (You’re definitely going to have a gap in the front just like Mommy & Daddy both did.) You’ve started using those teeth to chew little pieces of sweet potato puffs and yogurt bites. You’re eating like such a big boy and I can’t wait to introduce you to more new foods.

Your personality shows a little more each month. I think you are going to be cheerful, but laid back and maybe a little sensitive. I can already tell that you have Mommy & Daddy’s stubbornness though—you get so mad when we tell you no! You love pulling people’s glasses off their face, yanking on jewelry and throwing things. When we say “No!” your mouth makes a tight little “o” shape, then your bottom lip turn down and you start to scream. It’s hard not to laugh, it’s so cute.

I can’t believe all of the ways that you are growing and changing…I marvel at the awesome little boy you are becoming. So many people love you so much, but I love you most of all!

I love you, boo-boo.

Mommy

And one extra-- a favorite outtake:

It's a...

2011-05-17T07:00:00.002-05:00

GIRL!!!

(Maybe...)

We went to the doc for our NT Scan today and everything looked great. Fluid at the back of the neck measured at 1.45mm, which is perfect. Baby was measuring 1 day ahead and was flipping around, kicking, arching back, waving, etc. It's so fascinating to see!

We let the tech know that we would love to find out the sex, if she could tell. Well, this baby was being incredibly modest (completely unlike Liam) and kept crossing its legs. We got little peeks for a split second, then the legs would cross again. Our tech was very patient and tried for about 15 minutes to get a good look, but baby just wasn't having it. Rob thought he saw something between the legs (his guess was boy) & while I saw what he saw, to me, it looked like the early stages of a developing girl. It didn't look like what Liam looked like at this stage.

After several of those short glimpses, she said, "Well, I have a guess. I think it's a girl." She made us promise not to hold her to that & when we asked how sure she was, she said, "About 75%." While there's no way to be sure yet, I feel like she's right. This pregnancy has been really different than my pregnancy with Liam (which I know doesn't necessarily mean anything) and my symptoms have followed all of the old wives tales for girls (also doesn't prove anything)... I could very well be wrong, but I really do believe it's a girl. Five weeks until we (hopefully) find out for sure.

Some pics from today:

Profile

Stretching-- back arched

Scary Face (right)

Everything else looked good! My weight was down 2lbs and blood pressure was a little high, but I believe it was just nerves from having an ultrasound. We'll have our next appointment around 18 weeks and have our anatomy scan done where (fingers crossed) we'll find out for sure if Liam will have a baby sister!

Share the Love: A Response

2011-05-16T22:03:00.007-05:00

I want to thank everyone who commented on the Share the Love post that I wrote a few days ago about my sister in law's recent loss. The past few days have been very difficult for her, but she's been surrounded by people who love her. Barb read the post (and comments, yay!) tonight and asked me to post this response:

"thank you all so very much --you are more than kind to leave such supportive and loving words...we are doing ok. It is hard - oh, there are no words to describe of course...but my 2 other babies are my saving grace - they make me smile when I'm sad, they will keep me going and I cannot be more thankful for that...Stef & I have some very special memories, incredible stories and amazing connections on so many levels - I love her dearly and this post filled me with incredible humbleness and gratitude. Thanks to you all - you give me strength to look forward...wish you all the best of everything... "

Thanks again, friends, for being a warm hug in a cold place. You're the best.

Recipes

2011-05-14T21:31:00.001-05:00

"It’s in the Freezes Beautifully section of my cookbook and I want to take something that freezes beautifully."

- Annelle, Steel Magnolias

I couldn't get this quote out of my head all day, as I spent all afternoon in the kitchen. As I'm mourning the loss of one child, I'm preparing for the excitement of another-- My cousin's little girl is scheduled to arrive via induction next Monday if she doesn't decide to show up on her own before then.

One of the best ways I prepared for Liam's arrival was to stock the freezer (we actually bought a small chest freezer for this reason) with food that we could easily pull out and pop in the oven when we couldn't cook. Our family is amazing, and we had so many people stop by with food for the first few weeks, but of course that tapers off, then you're left exhausted and starving.

So today, I whipped up some of our favorites-- half will go in our freezer and the other half, I'll deliver to my cousin's house tomorrow morning. With so many of you expecting babies (either through pregnancy or adoption) or already busy with your little ones, I thought that I'd share the recipes of some of our go-to meals-- not things we'd eat every night, but meals that are great to have on hand in a pinch. These all "freeze beautifully" and are relatively easy to make.

One tip: I usually make the recipe as directed, then split it into two portions. Hefty EZOvenWare 1.5 Quart Casserole pans work perfectly-- they come in packs of two, so just put half of the casserole in one and the rest in the other! Best part, no dishes to wash (if you're making the casserole for you) and no dish to track down (if you're making it for someone else.)

Chicken Spaghetti

(The Fav)

3-4 boneless skinless chicken breasts
12 oz of spaghetti, vermicelli or angel hair (12 oz boxes are hard to find, so if you can only find a 16oz box, use 3/4 of it. If you use it all, it will be too dry.)
1 can of tomato soup
1 can of evaporated milk (Pet Milk, 12 oz)
1 cup of chicken broth
4 slices of American Cheese
3oz can of Parmesan cheese (This is the small skinny can)
Worcestershire Sauce to taste (about 1 Tbsp)
Garlic Salt & Cayenne Pepper to Taste (about 1 tsp)

Directions:

Cook your chicken, then cut into small pieces. (I like to saute mine in a pan, but you could bake, microwave or grill the chicken.)
Prepare pasta according to directions
In a saucepan, warm tomato soup, chicken broth, and milk
Tear American cheese into small pieces and add to the soup slowly to melt
Add half of the Parmesan cheese, stir to melt.
Add Worcestershire Sauce, Garlic Salt & Cayenne Pepper
In a greased casserole dish layer chicken, then spaghetti, then sauce.
Mix everything together, then sprinkle the rest of the Parmesan cheese on top.
Add some fresh ground pepper to taste.

*If you are going to freeze, go ahead and do this now. When you want to eat the casserole, either defrost at room temp for several hours or defrost in the microwave.*

Bake at 350 for 30 minutes.

*****

Poppyseed Chicken Casserole

(The Easiest)

3-4 boneless skinless chicken breasts
2 cans of Cream of Chicken Soup
8 oz carton of sour cream
1 tube of Ritz Crackers (crushed)
1 stick of butter or margarine
Poppyseeds

Directions:

Cook the chicken, then cut into small pieces. (I like to saute mine in a pan, but you could bake, microwave or grill the chicken.) Spread across the bottom of a greased casserole dish.
Mix both cans of soup with the sour cream in a bowl, then layer on top of the chicken.
Spread Ritz crackers across the top.
Drizzle melted butter on top of the crackers.
Sprinkle Poppyseeds across the top. (Use as many or a little as you like-- I typically add about 2 Tbsp)

*If you are going to freeze, go ahead and do this now. When you want to eat the casserole, either defrost at room temp for several hours or defrost in the microwave.*

Bake at 350 for 35 minutes.

*****

Broccoli Chicken Casserole

(The Old Standby)

3-4 boneless skinless chicken breasts
1 package of chicken flavored rice (I prefer Knorr Creamy Chicken-- used to be Liptons)
1 package of frozen chopped broccoli
1 can of Cream of Chicken Soup
1 can of Cream of Celery Soup
1 cup of Mayo (I prefer low-fat)
1 tube of Ritz crackers (crushed)
1 bag of shredded cheddar cheese

Directions:

Prepare rice according to instructions, then spread evenly at the bottom of a greased casserole dish.
Cook your chicken, then cut into small pieces. (I like to saute mine in a pan, but you could bake, microwave or grill the chicken.)
Cook your broccoli according to the directions. (I usually toss mine into a bowl and microwave for 5 minutes.)
Combine chicken and broccoli into a bowl and mix.
Combine both cans of soup & mayo in a separate bowl.
Take half the chicken/broccoli mixture and layer in casserole dish on top of the rice. Layer half of the soup mixture.
Repeat with remaining chicken/broccoli, then the rest of the soup mix.
Cover the top with shredded cheese.

*If you are going to freeze, go ahead and do this now. When you want to eat the casserole, either defrost at room temp for several hours or defrost in the microwave.*

Bake at 350 for 40 minutes. During the last 10 minutes in the oven, sprinkle the Ritz crackers on top.

*****

Chicken Tortilla Soup

(So easy, so good)

2 boneless skinless chicken breasts
1 medium yellow onion, chopped
2 tsp of minced garlic
2 Tbsp of olive oil
4oz can of green chilis
15oz can of Italian Style stewed tomatoes
4 cups of chicken broth
1 tsp of lemon pepper, cumin, chili powder
2 Tbsp Worcestershire sauce

Directions:

In a soup pot, saute onion, and garlic in oil until they soften
Add chilis and tomatoes, use a wooden spoon to break them up
Add chicken broth and all spices. Bring to a boil, then turn down and simmer 10-15 minutes
While soup is simmering, cut raw chicken into small pieces
Turn up soup again & bring to a boil
Add (raw) chicken and boil until chicken pieces are cooked through.
Freeze. (When serving, top with cheese, sour cream, cilantro, tortilla strips.)

I don't have much time to cook & I'm sure many of you don't, either. Hope that these help out with dinner!

Share the Love

2011-05-13T13:23:00.000-05:00

I really love my sister in law.

Rob has always been extremely close to his little sister. They grew up only a year and half apart and went through a lot in their childhood together. When I met her, we really hit it off and our relationship has grown over the past 2 ½ years.

By Fall 2009, we were both trying to get pregnant. It took her less time than it did for us, but in Jan 2010 when I called to tell her I was pregnant she told us she was thrilled then shared with us that she was pregnant, too. Going through the pregnancy together last year was so much fun—we commiserated about our symptoms, we checked in after every doctor’s appointment, we took a fantastic vacation together & we talked though the birth of our kids.

Then a little over 2 months ago, I got a call from her, letting me know that (surprise!) she was pregnant again. A few hours later, she got a call from me, sharing the same news. We’ve been so excited to go through this together again—we’ve talked about names, symptoms, doctor’s appointments and how we’re going to manage it all.

Barb had her 14 week doctor’s appointment yesterday morning & learned that she lost the baby.

She’d been spotting for a few days, but nothing that really caused concern. When she got to her appointment, her doctor couldn’t feel her uterus. She was sent for an ultrasound & found out the devastating news: The sack measured at 10 weeks & the baby measured 8w1d with no heartbeat. Today, she’s having a D&C.

We’re all shocked & heartbroken.

She called me yesterday morning and as soon as she got the words out, we were both in tears. After two children that were easily conceived and (relatively) easily carried, she had no reason to believe that she would have any problem with this pregnancy.

I’m hurting for her. Both of us were surprised by our pregnancies and have struggled a little bit with how we’re going to handle children that were not in “the plan.” But as the weeks have passed, we’ve both grown attached to these babies (probably more than we realized). I can’t even imagine what this late loss feels like… I can only imagine that it feels like her heart has been ripped out of her chest.

I hate that she’s joining this community.

Women who have an easy time conceiving, who carry healthy babies and have uncomplicated births will never know the hurt, anxiety, pain, fear and heartache that women who have faced infertility and loss experience. My sweet sister-in-law had never experienced those emotions related to her fertility…until now. Now she’s stuck here with the rest of us… blaming herself, mourning her loss, wondering if she did something wrong & why her body has betrayed her. In short, she’s suddenly been thrust into the place that some of us have been stuck for years. I. Hate.It.

I wish there was a way to ensure that none of my friends or family EVER went through this. But she is.

So friends, I ask you, if infertility or loss has touched your life, will you please leave a comment for Barb? She reads this blog and can use all of the support she can get right now…and will for a while. She has no idea how amazing this community can be in tough times…I wish she didn’t need to know, but I’d love to show her how unbelievably supportive this group of women can be… I don’t know where I’d be without you guys and I hope she can find the same comfort I do.

12 weeks

2011-05-10T22:16:00.005-05:00

I was 12 weeks pregnant yesterday & even though I know I won't be meticulous about weekly bump pics this pregnancy, I do want to make sure I take them from time to time.

I'm showing much earlier this pregnancy than I did with Liam-- I regularly make the joke that I never really stopped showing. Over the past two weeks or so, I've seen a noticeable shift in the shape of my body & I can tell the baby belly's coming. See for yourself:

These pics were taken at night, so I'm a bit bigger than I typically am when I first wake up, thanks to the 1st tri pregnancy bloat. But it's there, and pretty comparable to where I was around 17 weeks with Liam. No weight gain, thank goodness, just belly.

Excited that our NT Scan is less than a week away, but even more excited that one of my college BFFs is coming tomorrow. We haven't seen each other in 2 1/2 years & once I get my arms around her, I may never let her go! She's never seen our house or met Liam so I hope to pack as much quality time into her 24 hour visit (Boo! Wish she could stay longer!) as possible. I'm really grateful that I've started feeling better (bye-bye morning sickness, for the most part!) so that we can really enjoy our time together. Will try to post pics after the visit!

Mother's Day Recap

2011-05-09T10:18:00.011-05:00

Yesterday was a fantastic day-- full of food, family and some fun surprises.

Rob got up with Liam in the morning so that I could sleep in & made a run to Starbucks to bring me back a treat!

I went to brunch with my boys and my family and Liam was so excited to give Marmi (my mom) this mug that he made for her with his footprint! She loved it, of course.

I got a lovely surprise in a little blue box from Rob & Liam:

And an adorable baby carriage charm from my parents:

I got to spend some time with my brother and soon-to-be SIL (!!! There hasn't been an official proposal yet, but they are already starting to plan the wedding for next May. It's coming!) who came down from Nashville for the weekend. (And who also gave me a card and a Starbucks gift card. So sweet!)

L to R: My brother Eric, his fiancee Sandy, my mom, my dad, me, Liam & Rob.

After brunch, we brought Liam home for a nap & Rob stayed with him so that I could run out and get some flowers for our porch. It was so nice to be able to pick out what I wanted without having to bring Liam along!

And that, was my first official Mother's Day!

It was a wonderful day, but I had so many ladies on my mind... ladies that I knew weren't spending this day the way they dream they one day will. To all of you still waiting for your babies, Iam hoping that this is the last Mother's Day you'll spend with your children in your hearts instead of your arms. I know how lucky I am... more than once I looked at Liam and said, " I love you so much. Thank you for making me a mom."

The Birds & The Bees...& the Flying Ant!

2011-05-04T09:27:00.016-05:00

Wow, I've been a really crappy blogger...for the past month. I've wanted to update, but I just haven't felt like I've had anything post-worthy to talk about. I promise, I'm going to try to be better.

Baby Blakely (The Sequel) is doing great. I'm halfway through my 11th week and the morning sickness seems to have let up over the past few days. I'm still pretty tired, but not the 1st Tri coma that I had with Liam. No weight gain yet, but definitely feel like my belly is bigger than it was at 11 weeks last time-- feels like I'm about a month further along. I was able to use my doppler to find the heartbeat last week and our NT Scan is scheduled for Monday, May 16th. I'm so hopeful that we might find out the sex then. Want to guess? Vote in my poll on the sidebar!

On to a cute conversation I had with my aunt & cousin when we had lunch together last week...

Background info: My cousin (who's 6) was busy playing with Liam and I didn't think she was paying attention-- My aunt and I were talking about my cousin Memo's upcoming delivery (She's due in 3 weeks!). I mentioned something about bleeding after the birth, and my cousin looked at me, clearly alarmed.

Cousin: "You were bleeding when Baby Liam was born?"

Me: "Yes. Just a little bit, but it wasn't too bad."

Cousin: "Where were you bleeding?"

Me: (Silence...looking to aunt) "You want to take this one?"

Aunt: "Do you remember where we talked about babies coming from?"

Cousin: "Out of mommy's tummy?"

Me: "Well, sometimes babies come out of their mommy's tummy..."

Aunt: "Do you remember the special place we talked about? The special place that's just for babies?"

Cousin: (blinking... looking expectantly at her mother.)

Me: (looking back and forth between the two of them)

Aunt: (giving me the side eye)

Cousin: (silent for what feels like forever, then suddenly looking up at a tree overhead.)

"Look!! A Flying Ant!!!!!"

SAVED!!

We started laughing so hard & my sweet little cousin had no idea what was so funny. God help me when I have to explain the birds & the bees to Liam!

Busting a Myth

2011-04-27T22:26:00.008-05:00

Myth: If you just relax, you will get pregnant.

*********

I’ve always been anxious.

When Rob & I decided to try to start our family, I was worried from the very first month. I voiced my fears to a counselor I was seeing at the time-- I was worried that we’d have problems. I was worried that I wouldn’t get pregnant. I was worried that the one thing I wanted most in the world, I would never have.

You know what she told me? “Just Relax.” (Which, in all fairness, she probably should have told me at that point, seeing as we’d probably been TTC for a few weeks.)

So, I tried, but the nagging feeling that something was wrong never really went away. I was one of those really annoying TTCers—you know the one. I jumped on a message board and complained about how difficult it was to see those BFNs month after month and how worried I was…when we had only been trying for 3 months.

You know what they told me? “Impatience is not a fertility issue.” (And they were right to say that. It's true.)

But somehow, I knew. Something was not right. So, I started meticulously charting my temperatures, my cervical position & mucus and every attempt we made—just so I’d have proof we were doing everything right, but that something in my body just wasn’t cooperating. Once I started charting, it was pretty easy to tell that something was up—my cycles were often 45-60+ days and often with no clear temp shift to suggest I’d ovulated. No ovulation = no pregnancy. And it seemed to be getting worse—almost every cycle was ending in a dose of Prometrium.

You know what friends and family told me? “Just Relax.” (And while this was starting to upset me, I knew that I hadn’t been diagnosed with any issues yet...)

It was right around the 7 month mark that I started reading infertility blogs—a bit premature perhaps, but I already felt like I could identify with these women. When I was down, they cheered me up. When I thought that we might have a chance during a particular cycle, they cheered me on. When I was worried, they encouraged me to go in for testing as soon as possible. (Special shout out to Secret Sloper, who was my very first infertility blog buddy, my lifesaver, my biggest cheerleader & my dear friend.)

One of the most valuable lessons that the infertility community taught me is that you have to be your own advocate. You have to read up on any issues that you think you might be experiencing, push the doctors for more tests and always ask questions, questions and more questions.

I was really lucky that my ob/gyn listened to all of the detective work I’d done and decided to do an infertility workup when we’d been TTC for 7 months. (Waiting the standard 12 months to officially be diagnosed with infertility would have been a waste of time.) There were medical issues that needed to be resolved— “Just relaxing” wasn’t going to fix any of them. When my TSH came back at 5.51, I was ecstatic to be able to pinpoint what could be the cause of our problems. What I wasn’t thrilled about was that that my ob/gyn tried to write these labs off as normal.

I had done my reading and I knew that the ideal TSH level of a woman trying to conceive is between 1-2. So, I left my ob/gyn and went to an RE (who I adore and will forever be grateful for) who immediately put me on Synthroid & a dose of Clomid. Not only was she determined to make me ovulate, she was determined to fix the reason I wasn’t ovulating. I got pregnant that month.

It’s possible that I felt more anxiety during my first medicated cycle than I did during any other cycle. I didn’t get pregnant because I decided to “just relax.” I got pregnant because I took medication that fixed what was wrong with me.

I’m pregnant again now— A total surprise after infertility. But this baby doesn’t exist because I relaxed, either—it exists because the universe has a sense of humor and decided to bless us with two children very close in age.

I say, “after infertility” simply because we struggled to get pregnant with Baby #1, but we didn’t struggle with #2. Every time I visit the doctor, my paperwork is stamped with “Pregnancy after Infertility.” Infertility will always be a part of me & a part of my experience bringing my children into the world. It has colored how I feel about pregnancy, birth and the miracle of motherhood.

So many of the women I know and love have successfully created families, and several others are so close. These women were made mothers by miracles, fertility treatments and adoption. The bond I share with these women is unlike any other-- My dream is that one day, we’ll all travel across the country to meet in person, show off our beautiful babies, have a drink & “Just Relax.”

*********

To learn more about infertility click here.

It's National Infertility Awareness Week!

Easter in Photos

2011-04-26T22:55:00.006-05:00

Liam's 1st Easter!

As a surprise, my parents tried to arrange an Easter photo session with our newborn photographer, but unfortunately, it didn't work out. (Check out her adorable shots with a live bunny here.) While I was disappointed to hear that we missed the opportunity, I think that if we wait until the Easter after next, the kids will be at a great age to do it-- they'll be 1 1/2 & 2 1/2. How sweet would those photos be? (Next year wouldn't be ideal because Baby #2 will be 4-5 months old-- I'd rather do them when he/she can sit up.) Anyway, when the professional session didn't work out, my parents did a mini photo shoot of their own & got some great shots!

Happy Easter, Everyone!

(And BTW, I'm 10 weeks this week.)

Letters to Liam, 7 months

2011-04-23T21:16:00.001-05:00

My Little Liam,

Another month has passed—I can’t believe how quickly the time goes. Each day you are one step further away from being a baby and one step closer to becoming a toddler.

You are sitting on your own! It’s funny—I thought that you couldn’t do it and I was surprised because you’ve hit all of your other milestones so early. Then, I realized that we just weren’t giving you the time to practice. Everyone loves you so much that they constantly want to hold you & the hardwood floors in our house don’t give you a comfy place to play. Once we put you down and let you practice, you caught on right away. You’re spending more time sitting up by yourself now and you love playing with your cars and your racetrack.

You have 3 teeth now & I can see the 4th starting to peek through. You got your bottom central incisors about a month ago & your top right central incisor just broke through a few days ago. It looks like the left one won’t be too far behind. You’ve been such a trooper about teething—you love chewing on cold teething rings, Sophie, and your banana toy. You’ve only had a few bad days, and a dose of Tylenol seems to make you feel better.

You’re still sleeping great (11-12 hours/night), eating everything in sight (sweet potatoes seem to be your favorites) and are drinking your bottles like a big boy (You hold them yourself now.) We’ve started giving you some water each day and have started to work on teaching you to use a sippy cup.

This week, we signed you up for “school” next year. You’ll go on Wed & Fri from 10am-2pm starting in September. It’s a Mother’s Day Out program, and while I know it’ll be hard to let you go, I think it will be so good for you to interact with other kids. You’re a little shy & sensitive (you often cry when other babies get too close to you) and I think that letting you experience some time away from Mommy & Daddy (and Marmi & Poppy) is probably going to help that. No doubt, I’ll be a nervous wreck the first few weeks.

You and Daddy have developed a fun routine together—Every day when he gets home from work, he scoops you up and takes you out on a “Touching Walk.” You pick flowers, pull leaves off of trees and touch branches. Sometimes you bring things home for me. The biggest challenge is making sure you don’t eat your treasures. You love this special time with Daddy—your face lights up when you see him. He loves it too and looks forward to it all day.

Your first Easter is this weekend! I have your Easter basket & I can’t wait to see what the Easter Bunny brings you! On Sunday, we’ll go over to Uncle Art & Aunt Carie’s house for lunch and your first Easter Egg Hunt. (You’ll have to share any candy you find with us, but there will be other treats just for you.) You have a special smocked Easter bubble to wear, along with new white sandals. You’re going to look so cute!

Every day I love you more and more, my sweet boy. After 7 months, I still look at you and can’t believe that you’re my son. I am so lucky to be your mommy.

I love you, bunny.
Mommy

First OB Appt: 8 weeks

2011-04-11T13:20:00.010-05:00

I can't seem to stay out of my OB's office. After spending every month, then every two weeks, then every week in there last year, I'm starting all over again.

We had our first appointment today & Baby Blakely (the sequel) was measuring perfectly at exactly 8 weeks:

We heard the beautiful heartbeat thumping away at 170bpm.

Sorry for the terrible photo-of-photo pictures. I don't have a scanner handy today.

It was a relatively quick appointment-- there really wasn't any need to remind me what I can/can't do seeing as I've only had a 6 month break from pregnancy. I had some blood drawn, we went over some prescription options (thyroid, acid reflux, asthma, allergies) and I met with the OB Coordinator who let me know what our insurance covers-- when she found out I had a 6 month old, she sent me on my way, saying that she was sure I already knew what I needed to know. I think I do.

We'll go back in 4 weeks. I was happy to hear that my ultrasound tech has been certified to do the NT Scan (which is scheduled for our next appointment), so now we won't have to navigate the big university hospital like we did with Liam. When I mentioned to my OB that we were able to see that Liam was a boy (with 90-95% certainty) at our NT Scan last time, she said that she is usually able to tell and that there's a good chance that we'll be able to tell this time-- I'm thinking about pushing my appointment to 13 weeks instead of 12 to increase our odds, with my OB's permission, of course.

Still feels crazy to me that we could potentially know the sex of our little surprise in 4-5 weeks and that we'll definitely know within 10 weeks. It's exciting, for sure. There's lots of things to start thinking about-- Names, to start with. Room decor-- If it's a girl, she'll get a new theme for the nursery & if it's a boy, Liam will likely get something new in his new room while the baby uses the bedding I made for Liam. I'm thinking about giving the new baby the crib and moving Liam into a toddler bed with rails...seems like a waste to buy another crib...but we'll see. Who will sleep where? We had just turned the guest bedroom ( 1 of our 3 bedrooms) into a playroom/craft space... looks like it will become a bedroom again! What kind of double stroller would be best for us? I have some time to figure all of these things out, of course.

The Zofran is working pretty well-- while I'm far from 100%, it's keeping things managable. (Well, that and Colace.) If things progress like they did with Liam (& so far, they haven't.) I have about 3 more weeks left of feeling yucky.

But who's counting?

It's in there

2011-04-06T11:19:00.005-05:00

Early ultrasounds are always nerve-wracking. What if there's no heartbeat? What if there's more than one? What if the baby's not measuring correctly? What if something's wrong?

I am so happy that my RE does early ultrasounds, because the wait for my ob/gyn appointment felt needlessly cruel. Monday morning, we paid a visit to her and introduced her to Liam for the first time!

After a quick date with wandy (hello, old friend!) we saw this:

One beautiful baby, measuring at 7 weeks, with a very strong heartbeat!

The ultrasound measurements can be off by about 2 days in either direction, so I think I may actually be a few days ahead of my estimated due date-- but we all know that the baby will choose when he/she wants to be born and that it doesn't really matter. Here's hoping that this one won't hang out a week past its due date like Liam did.

Baby Blakely (the sequel) is due November 21, 2011.

I'm feeling ok-- more nausea than I had with Liam & it's hitting me at night instead of in the morning. I broke down and called the doctor for a Zofran prescription yesterday. Armed with that and some Immodium, I'm hoping to start feeling a little better in the next few days. I'm tired, but the exhaustion doesn't seem to be as severe as it was with Liam-- but perhaps it's just that I have no choice. I came home every day and went to sleep at 5:30pm in the 1st Tri when I was pregnant with him. Now, there's no chance of going to bed before 9pm (and it's usually much later than that!). My parents have encouraged me to take a nap at their house when I pick up Liam after work, before heading home. I've only taken them up on it once-- I need to start doing it, just to help survive this next month or so.

It's funny-- Although it's still so early in this pregnancy, I can already tell how different it will be (and not just physically). While I'm sure the fact that this pregnancy was unexpected plays a role, I think it's more just the fact that it's the second baby. Liam consumed my every thought as he grew in my belly & while I think about this baby, it's in between taking care of Liam, spending time with my family, working & any other projects that life has thrown at me lately.

I think about our NT Scan, which we'll probably do in week 13-- that's less than 6 weeks away & that's essentially when we found out that Liam was a boy. It seems insane that we could know (a very good guess of) the sex of this baby in 6 weeks. I'm still trying to accept the fact that I'm pregnant! And even if the doc has no guess this time (boys are evidently quite a bit more obvious at that stage), we'll know for sure at our anatomy scan which we'll probably do at 18 weeks-- only 11 weeks away. How strange that 11 weeks seemed like a lifetime before & barely seems like a blip now.

I doubt that I'll post weekly updates here about the pregnancy, like I did last time. It just feels a little pointless, seeing as you all read them so recently. (Maybe I'll include a link to those posts when I'm writing other posts.) I'll certainly post ultrasound pics, videos & any news we get at doctor's appointments, but I doubt I'll do belly shots, either. I'm thinking that maybe I'll do them every month or every 5 weeks? I want this baby to have a record of how s/he grew, but I have to set some reasonable goals for myself-- I just can't do it all.

Creating a baby book for this second child is still really important to me-- I've been good about keeping up with Liam's book and documenting his firsts & filling it with dates and pictures. It's important to me that I do the best I can with the second baby's book, too. I realize that it won't be as well documented as Liam's, but I'm determined not to let it slip entirely. As Liam's grown, I've referenced my own baby book so many times to determine if he grew like I did & if he hit his milestones at the same time I did. My baby book is not as complete as my brother's (I'm the second child) but all of the important dates and information is in there. I hope to be able to do the same. I'll definitely be ordering another edma mae book-- I couldn't be happier with it.

I realize that this post is written as if I am positive that this baby is healthy, thriving & will join our family in November. I know that it is still so early in the pregnancy that we are, by no means, in a "safe" place yet. But I do believe that life is taking me where I'm supposed to be-- and if this baby is meant to join our family s/he will. I've struggled with so many feelings regarding the unexpected news of this pregnancy-- worrying about loss is something I just can't allow myself to do. I'm not trying to sound arrogant, like I know that everything will be ok-- I don't. But I'm overwhelmed enough with other worries and concerns that I've been able to put that one on the back burner. And, I'm really thankful for that.

Next Monday, I'll have my first ob/gyn appointment & I imagine that they'll do another ultrasound-- I will certainly post pics of what's in there, if we get them!

Tweet Baby Girl: The Big Day

2011-04-03T21:35:00.014-05:00

What a fantastic day! Everything went smoothly-- the weather was beautiful, all of the decorating was done, the food was delicious and the mama-to-be had a great time as we helped her feather her nest.

Without further ado, here are pictures from the "Tweet Baby Girl" baby shower I hosted this weekend:

And although I know that most of you do not know my family, I couldn't resist posting a pic of the gorgeous glowing mama-to-be with the grandmas-to-be...

...And the adorable and fun daddy-to-be!

The day was perfect & now we're all just counting down the days until "tweet" baby Millie's arrival!

Tweet Baby Girl: Little Things

2011-03-28T21:16:00.004-05:00

I've been meaning to post some pics of some projects I've been working on for the baby shower I'm hosting this weekend, but I've barely had time to stop and snap some pics.

Here's a sneak peek:

Banner to hang from the mantle.

Topiary Food Labels.

Custom Chocolates for the favor bags.

Favor Bags.

So much more to come, but it may have to wait for pics of the actual party. I've got a lot of little things to finish up this week. Stay tuned!